• splinterA
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    11 months ago

    Naturally, you can spend just $50 extra to unlock other technician payment methods.

    • AliceOPMA
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      11 months ago

      And he’s the only technician with a license to perform the installation legally.

      • splinterA
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        11 months ago

        This means there is a significant waiting list of at least 3 months before a technician can attend. Of course, you can skip the queue by paying an additional $499.99 for priority service

        • AliceOPMA
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          11 months ago

          Then you have to fight off the technicians drug dealer Lil Craig because he owes him exactly 499.99 that he took out of Lil Craig’s stash. If you survive gun shots in point blank range, then the technicians obwella (Mexican slang for aunt OB-WELL-AH) will only allow the service for installation if you marry the tech.

          • splinterA
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            11 months ago

            You do have the option of just paying a small extortion fee of $300 for Lil Craig to leave you alone. The Obwella is $200 extra for marriage cancellation. This can be conveniently pre-paid when you place your order.

            • AliceOPMA
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              11 months ago

              After this, you can’t find the glasses anywhere. It’s stated in the instructions that if the glasses are not set in the moonlight every night during dusk, they evaporate into water vapor.

              • splinterA
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                11 months ago

                You have the option of getting the glasses made out of a different material that doesn’t have such stringent maintenance requirements, however this will cost you $400 extra.

                • AliceOPMA
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                  11 months ago

                  The waiting period for a new shipment is 11 months.

                  • splinterA
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                    11 months ago

                    Unless you decide to cover an additional $199 priority shipping fee, in which case it gets dispatched in 3-5 working days.