• splinterA
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    Naturally, you can spend just $50 extra to unlock other technician payment methods.

    • AliceOPMA
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      And he’s the only technician with a license to perform the installation legally.

      • splinterA
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        This means there is a significant waiting list of at least 3 months before a technician can attend. Of course, you can skip the queue by paying an additional $499.99 for priority service

        • AliceOPMA
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Then you have to fight off the technicians drug dealer Lil Craig because he owes him exactly 499.99 that he took out of Lil Craig’s stash. If you survive gun shots in point blank range, then the technicians obwella (Mexican slang for aunt OB-WELL-AH) will only allow the service for installation if you marry the tech.

          • splinterA
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            You do have the option of just paying a small extortion fee of $300 for Lil Craig to leave you alone. The Obwella is $200 extra for marriage cancellation. This can be conveniently pre-paid when you place your order.

            • AliceOPMA
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              After this, you can’t find the glasses anywhere. It’s stated in the instructions that if the glasses are not set in the moonlight every night during dusk, they evaporate into water vapor.

              • splinterA
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                You have the option of getting the glasses made out of a different material that doesn’t have such stringent maintenance requirements, however this will cost you $400 extra.

                • AliceOPMA
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  The waiting period for a new shipment is 11 months.

                  • splinterA
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    ·
                    1 year ago

                    Unless you decide to cover an additional $199 priority shipping fee, in which case it gets dispatched in 3-5 working days.