thats why i dont shake hands anymore.
Mine has also been up to the wrist in vagina, with moderate colon (limited to the digits). I let people know this before they shake my hand, in the spirit of transparency.
Proper uncensored version thanks to @baatliwala@lemmy.world
Couldn’t find a wild uncensored version, so here’s an edited version. #FuckCensorship
Wow way to suck Google images
Circle to search is surprisingly good
If you post censored shit I’m going to PM you shittingdicknipples and lemonparty.
/shakes tiny fist wistfully
Thank god
I hold a duck once, didn’t know it was that widespread.
“Almost” is a bit optimistic. Are femcels getting office jobs these days?
Some people are straight and left handed. Typically shake with your right. Possible to split the responsibility completely although has to be rare.
I wonder what it says under that grey bar. No way to tell.
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
You’ll touch my dick and you’ll like it goddammit
Pftt I’m not afraid of a drink!
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Counterpoint: a greater number have touched a vagina (but that framing doesn’t obsess over a woman’s sexual purity, so, clearly less important)
Everyone has touched a vagina. You at least passed one on the way out.
Not people who were born via Caesarean.
The amount of technical correctness in this post is out of this world
That one pissed off Macbeth, too.
Counter counter point: a great number of dicks have touched a vagina
Present company excluded
Never thought about it but obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons. And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand. This is now stuck in my head. The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
bro is gonna loose it when he learns about lesbians
Honestly curious about this. I don’t think that people turn into homosexuals. They either are or aren’t at birth. But in the case of lesbians, which you raised, I wonder how many have at least once experimented with at least one hetero interaction which would involve penis holding
LOL. The politically correct police are on your ass tonight!
I cannot believe the seriousness of these replies. What is it the kids say? “Touch grass”?
Pretty sure it’s “eat ass”.
It is amazing how so many people cannot simply joke around. Politics so consume their lives every single thing in life is viewed only in that context. And not only cannot they not simply joke around they are on a mission to impose their views on anyone who disagrees with them. What a sad way to go through life. Social media in general is all a joke. And this group specifically is all about just getting a laugh.
I dunno why you’re complaining about politics. Your statement was gross, STRONG ick factor. You’re getting downvoted as you deserve to be for being so cringe.
Impose their views on people who disagree with them? Damn that’s crazy, people want others to treat people with respect and not be bigoted? How political
Of course “bigoted” is in the eyes of the beholder. And those judging have no real idea if a person joking around is actually a bigot.
Of course it’s in the eyes of the beholder, like anything is, but from the reaction of others, it seems like most people in this thread agree with me or have a similar viewpoint, so I think it’s worth considering why people had that impression. If it’s not your views coming out or your intention, fix what was pointed out and there’s that.
they are on a mission to impose their views on anyone who disagrees with them. What a sad way to go through life.
Nevertheless, I don’t know about you but this doesn’t look like a joke, nor does your initial comment, as it seems you’re taking what you said quite seriously, I don’t see why you’d say that if you weren’t.
But anyways, bigoted jokes are just that: bigoted. Not that great of a defence. Nobody has a problem against “joking around”, it’s more about what your comment was full of.
thanks for encouraging me to “fix” it so I am perfectly aligned with you and “most people in this thread” I wouldn’t want to be able to think for myself
If
Anyways, so yes, you are a bigot, thanks for confirming
(lemmy is technically correcting about everything): i sleep (correcting about geneder) REAL SHIT
everyman
females
Everywomen/everymales
all [women] old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.
Nah.
Bruh forgot about trans people, lesbians, and asexuals
show me where it says lesbians can’t love cock
Kind of irrelevant, because there’s lots of lesbians who have never touched a dick.
I mean dildos are shaped like dicks generally so they probably have nothing against Dick, just the useless shit attached to it
What if I told you that neither dicks nor dick-shaped objects are necessary for great sex?
No protests from me, just stating facts that there are plenty of people who don’t as well
This is making my brain hurt
Gonna has to go piece by piece through this:
obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons.
This line is trans-exclusive, which would probably be given a pass by all but the most ardent trans-inclusive commenters, but still not great.
And all females
Dude. There are some times when an argument is made that saying “females” is not inherently objectifying, especially in a scientific, military, or other setting where people are categorized that way, with the significant difference being consistency (e.g. man/woman, male/female, etc). Using one then the other strips all that away and makes it seem like referring to women as “females” is just your normal tendency, which strongly suggests the objectifying behavior.
And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.
This is just obviously wrong, as plenty of lesbians, asexual people, or those with lack of access to sexual connections with others have not had a dick in their hands, and that is not an insignificant percentage of women, I’d imagine.
The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
As if to underline the “females” comment, it’s pretty telling that you feel it worth mentioning that you’re going to wonder how many dicks were in the hands of women, but not men (especially funny since any man you meet has most likely had a dick in his hand more recently than a woman).
Sometimes it is difficult to notice your own biases, so I hope this makes you think about what leads you toward thinking like this, and just general self-reflection.
There are so many issues with this comment. Judgy and naïve in the best interpretation.
Men/Women Male/Female
Those are the pairings you wanted. But, for fun, try swapping them next time and see what kind of attitude folks get.
Male/Women
Do it. Rustle some jimmies.
While I was shaking it.
profound.
