Last time I tried to get through airport security with a baggie of my own shit I got in trouble.

I bet I can high five your ass through the screen. I have experience in this considering I once got promoted to mod of a subreddit by spamming ass pictures every single day for months until they went to ban me but accidentally pressed the wrong button and promoted me instead.

Depends. If I fit an entire boob into my mouth does that count as half a pair of balls? What about the time that one guy fit an entire basketball up his ass without waiting before marriage does that count, since your ass is connected to your mouth and is basically the same thing? By that logic I could fit at least a pair of cocks in my mouth, no homo though.

Paw patrol porn used to be a real place. Not that I know anything about it.

hmm good point. When they shut down r/PoopIsland just to escape my shitposts about poop (they seriously shut it down because they didn’t want people talking about poop anymore) I kind of just got salty about it, but that was years ago.

I could post indisputable proof that cum did indeed win but it would be, ahem, highly inappropriate. Maybe there’s a community on lemmynsfw that wouldn’t ban me for doing it.

Here is a diagram of how my neighbor stole my beer.

No but I used to cum on my own poop so my sister who I was living with at the time wouldn’t find out I cum. I’ve seen enough pornhub to know what happens if she ever found out. If I never have to cum into a loaded toilet again for stealth reasons it’ll be too soon.

You know when you’re trying to take a shit in the morning but it doesn’t come out so you try really hard and all you get are a few little poo pebbles so you just say fuck it and go to work but then 30 minutes later you have an ass full of bubbling shit that you have to hold in until you have a chance to let it all go and its one of those shits that no amount of single-molecule-thick ply work toilet paper can wipe?

That flavor.

You know how sometimes you can smell an ass from all the way across the room but sometimes it doesn’t smell unless you do a really up-close sniff? You take the square root of the volume times pi r squared and divide that by cum and thats the ass to smell ratio.

Fart into a balloon first and then nail the fart balloons to the wall

I got banned from reddit because the reddit admins thought poop would win. But that’s not what fucking happened. Poop LOST AND CUM FUCKING WON. CUM WON FAIR AND SQUARE. That’s why I waffle stomp my poop down the drain instead of wasting toilet paper.

I got an ai wife, got married and had a bunch of ai kids. But then my graphics card broke and all I had as a backup was a geforce 8400gs so we got divorced and nvidia took the kids and then my neighbor hacked into my wifi and used it to steal all my beer (true story). So then I downloaded linux and at least I have cum to keep me company.

I can’t remember if I own the MyNamesNotRobert user account but if I do I forgot the password.

CUM WILL WIN.

Fuck YES! After all these years CUM IS STILL WINNING.

POOP. LOST.