I care about my friends. I care about their goals, concerns, trials, joys, and more. I listen and I dig deeper. If I don’t care about what they did, I ask questions that reveal how it made them feel.
Now that’s a lot of emotional labor, but for a select few confidants, I am more than happy to that work. It bonds us and makes each other feel seen and connected.
I’m not much of wine drinker myself, but I once did a chef menu with the wine pairing. Every two dishes, they’d bring out a new glass of wine. It was kind blowing how the would taste one way with the first dish and a completely different way with the second dish. I’m not sure I can tell the difference between a $12 bottle and $40 bottle, but in that one meal i understood two things: first, if you know what your doing, wine and food pairings can be magical and, second, I don’t know what I’m doing.
Sounds like you had a wonderful patient who was grateful for you doing your craft. Do a compliment sandwich, but do it sincerely.
Complement Boundary Complement
“Oh my. I’m flattered. Thank you, but I’m not comfortable with that right now. You’ve been a wonderful patient and I enjoyed working with you too.”
This is just an example of the compliment sandwich structure and you should adjust the wording to serve you.
As for the phone number, just tell him that you were doing your job and seeing him better is all the reward you need. Again, adjust the wording for your truth.
Each one of these recommendations raises more questions that previous one.
Talk to him straight without being cruel. Below is an example and not a script.
“Hey, I really appreciate you and our friendship. G/f and I are happy to be your friend. We also happy together. Please be respectful of that. I really hope we can continue growing our friendship.”
He’ll be embarrassed. You can choose the level of connection and space to hold after that. Immediate disconnection will feel awkward for him. But so will holding space. Only in holding space can he even begin to remember that being friends with you is a safe place.
Its not easy to reach out to a friend with low self esteem. But its something they crave for.
To be considered a threat under 18 U.S.C. § 871, the statement must meet certain criteria:
Objective Test: Would a reasonable person interpret the statement as a serious expression of intent to harm or kill the President?
Subjective Component: Was the threat made with some degree of intent, seriousness, or purpose?
You’re using rationality to defend your behavior instead of connecting emotionally around a fundamentally emotional issue. This doesn’t mean that her behavior was justified either, but rationality will only get you so far in solving this problem. Arguably, there’s an intimate and emotional reason you’re together. If you’re both not engaging in protecting and growing that first, then you’ll end in a you vs her situation.
It gets better.
I remember things getting noticably easier every doubling starting at three weeks. So it was three weeks, then six, then three months, then six, then one year and two… And that was basically when I stopped needing to count.
At around 6 months, things got easier for us. We got better at everything, he got better at, well, being alive, I guess. And we as a routine that mostly worked. Still had a long journey in raising a baby, but it got easier.
I don’t know when the independence came around, but not before six months. You situation might be different. If you have family, lean on them. Get some sleep. Snuggle your wife.
Seriously, if you can, get someone to tag in once in a while. It’s a grind.
Uncle Iroh
I know he’s a genocidal war criminal, but he lost his son and traveled a long path of tea and paisho eventually cherishing and mentoring his nephew.
Uncle Ruckus
He’s a simple man, tryin’ to make his way in the world. Life’s dealt him a tough hand, but he played it the best he could. He worked hard, respected the values he was raised with, and tries to bring a bit of order to this chaotic world. He ma be rough around the edges and may not make words so good, but he believes in tough love and speaking his mind.
Man… I remember having fond memories of it. Plus, sort of a Christmas flick. So come winter break, I turn it on for my eight year old. I get to cooking dinner and about 45 minutes in, he’s shaking from it. He slept in our room for the first time in years that night. And the next night. And the next.
Literally just told his mom he’s still scared of gremlins. This will be one of the parenting regrets.
Yep. He tipped on top of the delivery charge and taxes. I it was 20% tip button that doesn’t isolate food.
Is it possible for your partner to get a job with health insurance while you get your business up and running? If not, the ACA website, healthcare.gov, is your best option. When filing, you won’t declare your income from when you had a job. Try to make your best guess. If needed, claim it to be $0 and then plan on paying it back when you file your taxes using the 1095-A.
If you don’t have an accountant, get one. Talk to them before leaving your job. They know the ins and outs of these things. They should be one of your first trusted advisors. If you don’t know how to pick an accountant, read Small Business Cash Flow by Dennis O ’ Berry.
Thank you for writing that up! Much appreciated.
It’s tough because they are all very nuanced issues, every decision has trade offs, makes things better in one way worse than another.
This is one of the major truths of adulthood that keeps on coming up over and over again. The other is how do you know that some really knows what they say they know without investing time, money, and mental power into meeting them and knowing the basics of the subject all while being humble enough to know you don’t know shit about it.
I’d love to hear your top points of what actually needs to happen.
I don’t realize I’m being sarcastic until someone is offended. And then I tell them that I just figured out I was being sarcastic and they should have known before I knew. So now I preemptively put a /s at the end of every comment.
Edit: I forgot this /s
Gotta shout out the Jersey City White Mana, inventor of the slider. Possibly. That’s what they say at least. I don’t know.
That’s how I feel about helicopter!
Gargoyles with my eight year old.
Positrons are different from protons. Both have a positive charge, but a positron is an elementary particle of a similar mass as an electron. They are rather rare in nature which OP was noting. Protons are made of three elementary particles, much heavier than positrons, and are, I imagine, present in nature in about the same order of magnitude as electrons.