You gotta spit on it first

Faggots and Retards mostly

Yes and then I used them to get a slushy from 7/11

Yeah, I went as a parking meter one year for Halloween and it seemed fitting.

Dad?

Oi, mate, I’m knackered after that proper long trek, but fancy a pint down the local to have a chinwag and a butcher’s at the footie?

A lack of lube

They do, the British section is out back in the dumpster.

Sorry I was aiming for your chest

Santa?

To many guys online, it’s now worth more.

Sobriety

Yes. You can have more husbands and kids in the future but the time to sell pop can jewelry is now. The market is hot!

Oh really? When’s the last time you had beans?

Being a victim.

Luigi, he has the balls to shoot a CEO in public.

Snowflake Reddit Mods

Do you put a “u” in neighbors because you hate America?

“My neighbors are nuts, but at least they’re not an asshole.”