What are they doing…? I am not talking about the women who had raucous wildlives and end up not married - they were doing something. What they were doing wasn’t good, but it was understandable. Like, I don’t think it’s good to be a pot dealer who hangs out on the block listening to his favorite tunes, getting high, hanging out, all day long, every day… But I know exactly why doing such a thing is desirable. I can at least understand it.

But decent looking spinster women… without social lives…

They’re gatekeepers to a much sought after product. They don’t run away to join a convent and dedicate themselves to God, they don’t even have a series of boyfriends they never marry and live some wild party life…

They just go to work, go home, meet a few female friends quietly a few times a month, consume 20 hours of TV a week… and maintain a small single bedroom apartment and die.

It’s offensive in an era of plummeting birth rates.

This isn’t even about “wamen shouldn’t have career; make baby!”

It’s about being a self-isolating shut-in who lets the world pass you by…

I am sure there are guys doing this, and it also irks me, but that’s another topic.

  • AliceMAEnglish
    3·
    11 months ago

    Yea I can see your point. Idk I’m far from being a spinster, but you end up going through so much shit you take a break and have no desire to date.

    • LovstuhagenOPEnglish
      3·
      11 months ago

      Oh yeah this makes sense - a lot of guys out there are also not serious. They are burdened by overly negative views of marriage… Which isn’t difficult considering the legal complications that can arise from divorce, and just the mere fact that not every relationship is a dream come true.

      • AliceMAEnglish
        3·
        11 months ago

        Well yea. I agree. I think it’s just easier for ppl to want to be alone rather then be in a relationship when they’ve reached that point you know?

        Point as in, ‘I’m done with the bullshit’

        I think men and women have been turned against eachother honestly. I can get into a whole thing. But I’ll spare you, and tell you that I blame modern feminism.

  • airrowEnglish
    2·
    11 months ago

    yeah I guess alice is probably right about, you have enough bad experiences and it’s like “you want to roll the dice again and have more pain, in the unlikely possibility that you’ll find someone”? and that saps the motivation for a bunch of them

    granted I think it’s good for people to persevere through the obstacles within reason

    I kind of know the kind of woman you’re talking about, but maybe you could clarify it further specifically who you have in mind

    At least half of them are the feminist women and there are no men for them, since they want the impossible Chad who is also a doormat feminist contradiction

    I consider most “conservative” women to also be feminists, it manifests differently for them but is kind of like how you describe, they are self-sufficient because “conservatives” push “financial self-sufficiency” (now on to women) on women, who just work and then go home and hang out with their few friends. There are no “real men” for them because feminism has neutered a lot of the guys and reduced their pay and constructed a bunch of obstacles to the men becoming “attractive enough” for them. I get the impression there are simply no incentives in place for them to marry; the old bargain was the man providing financially with the woman taking care of the household, which seems disrupted when women are taught to make their own income and guys aren’t taught to be as much of breadwinners for them both as was traditional.

    I guess the archetype of this that comes to mind for me is someone like “conservative” political commentator “Tomi Lahren”, who seems conventionally attractive and she went on some kind of screed against men after a breakup I think (see “Tomi Lahren - Men are Trash” on a search engine).

    There’s also a breakdown of places to meet people. Churches aren’t really a guarantee of meeting decent people. Bars seem to dominate as a space for socializing but a lot of people don’t like going there. I suspect the kind of woman you’re mentioning has nowhere to go (as you describe it, they work and simply go home).

    So, probably the economy and way of life in the U.S. has to improve - people lack the leisure and disposable income for taking lots of risks on random relationships today. There need to be more social groups available where people can casually go meet people. Discouraging women from seeking out careers would help the problem.

    What else do you think would help things?