12 hours from now, 11 years ago, I was very nearly killed riding a bicycle to work. I’m partially physically disabled now. Holding posture is very limited for me, but I’m still mobile. Last year I did the same ride on the same route. I ran into someone I worked with that was doing well and it had a disproportionate negative effect to see their success.

For the first 9 years I tried to ignore the anniversary, but that doesn’t work well either. I still feel every bit of the pain I felt that day when I woke up in the hospital, so moving on is not an option. I’m a shell of my former self. I’m doing good to ride a bike a couple dozen miles at most and can’t stop, sit, or stand for more than a few minutes. Does anyone with experience like this have any suggestions to reduce the dip; to morn one’s own death in a more productive way?