I mean the guy isn’t ugly, he just has the dumbest haircut I’ve ever seen
Yeah he just wasn’t trying. A little facial hair, better haircut, a good shower, nothing wrong there
I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.
Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.
Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not cockiness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.
I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.
Being tall is like 75% of being physically attractive according to most surveys.
If you’re over 6’ the “how tall are you” is either the first or second question on every date along with “what do you do for work”
It’s kinda sad how predictable we can be as animals
It’s interesting how bad I’m getting downvoted…
It is acceptable to say rich people, white people, men have a natural advantage.
But saying pretty people also have an advantage is horrible…
Lol
People absolutely get that kind of confidence by being really good looking…
What you found was an outlier, a unicorn. It happens but that in no way changes reality.
You can also get that kind of confidence by not worrying about where you fall on the attractiveness scale. I like to think I’m that way. If I wanted to I could definitely pick out things that might make me ugly, but I don’t worry about it. I care more about the interactions I have with people than I do about how I physically look. The only things about my appearance that give me a degree of confidence are just things that amuse me, like that I always wear the same color scheme or that my normal and facial hair differ in color and texture.
I can think of at least two of my friends who also share the quality of being comfortable and self accepting despite not being physically attractive, and I really enjoy being friends with them.
TWO WHOLE FRIENDS! Stop the presses!
The research has been done on this. The undeniable fact is “pretty” people have a clear advantage in life.
I know that may make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s the truth. The same as being poor is a disadvantage so is being ugly.
Just like someone who grows up poor can overcome it, so can ugly people. But that doesn’t mean the disadvantage isn’t there…
I have this strange suspicion that you find yourself to be ugly.
You called one person being that way an outlier, so I added three more from my own experience (two friends and myself.)
And yeah, maybe that is still an outlier. I’m willing to accept that, because I have something that might explain why it’s more common with the people I know. The three of us are part of a Christian fellowship, and Phillipians 3:3 says we have confidence in Christ and not the flesh - interestingly enough, I literally just got back from a Bible study with that group where we hit that verse.
You also might know three people that are more confident in themselves because confident people tend to be outgoing and know lots of other people, compared to people who aren’t very confident.
Well then most people would know such a person.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_paradox
Yup, they would, but that wouldn’t really dismiss the other guy’s point.
I guess my appearance is just otherworldly towards ugliness…
Where’d you get that from?
Because I have hard time ignoring my appearance issues because people bring it up so often. I cannot comprehend being able to ignore those…
Who’s bringing up your appearance issues? Friends? Family? Bullies? Strangers in the street?
Ofc not families, but social peers and strangers bring these up. I don’t have friends… Maybe so many people are just bullies?
You get that kind of confidence by not giving a shit about what other people think in terms of your physical attractiveness. I don’t think I’m especially good looking. I also couldn’t give less of a shit. Which is why I have the confidence to have the facial hair of a 19th century president. Because a mutton chops beard is fucking awesome. I’m married, but I wouldn’t even care if I was single. I’m keeping my mutton chops.
I wish this kind of attitude is acceptable in my country. Over here, even something like this is enough to make you weirdo and quickly alienate you.
I am a weirdo and maybe it does make people stay away from me. I just don’t care.
Does that mean you have zero friends, struggle to get a job, and generally socially isolated? If not, I don’t think we have the same problem.
Absolutely, I said it gives a natural advantage, it is more like getting a good starting hand in cards. It doesn’t mean you automatically win. Or loose if you get a 4,5…
Too many in this thread are for a variety of reasons taking my statement to mean “OMG if you’re not pretty you’re doomed”
I had a friend in college like Todd. Weird looking dude, but every time you talked to him you just felt good. He was fun to talk to and interesting but a good listener too. You were just happy to have spent time talking to him. Now I’m not into guys so I can’t say subjectively if that made him attractive, but based on what I’d heard he had all the men and women he wanted throwing themselves at him, and I believe it.
And for the people saying your friend was leaning on height, this guy was about the height of the average woman and hung out with a lady over 6’
They were tall, and I’m not disputing the whole “attractive people are more attractive” idea. I don’t think that comfortable - confidence vibe comes from looks, you can be good looking and very insecure about your looks, uncomfortable because everyone is looking at you, and I’m sure Tall Paul was comfortable enough with his looks to make money off them but didn’t have it.
Now try being an ugly woman
Have you tried dating sites? I can’t even get “ugly” women to respond to me so they must have “better options” reaching out to them or I really am just that undesirable lol
As long you are only ugly on the outside, it’s just a matter of getting used to it.
This is true. I think I could probably get it up for anyone who’s truly awesome.
Let me tell you a completely unguarded open non-secret: most men will date anything with a pulse, quite literally. I’m not saying you should settle for any scumbag you can find, just that your odds are better than you think.
I am! Still no dates though…
Being an ugly woman is not nearly the struggle that being an ugly man is. Women who aren’t attractive need to approach at all and they’ll have more success than ugly men who approach twice as often.
Moral of the story: If you are ugly and there’s a youtube comments chance to get laid, you take it(even if they have a furry profile photo.)
most “ugly” people put themselves into a box. take care of yourself, wash your face, brush your teeth, eat somewhat decently, put minimal effort into your appearance, and have a speck of self confidence and you can change your world.
I know it can be daunting especially if you have legitimate mental health issues that affect how you view yourself but trust me theres very few “ugly” looking people in this world and most of them still make it work by having a good decent personality.
Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.
Ah blame the ugly people! That’ll show em!
thanks for proving my point champ
That you’re lying to make yourself feel better? Umm ok
Have fun wallowing in self pity.
Actually, I’m above average in looks, but I don’t need to lie about it being an advantage. I also have empathy for other humans, so I treat them with respect by not blaming them for their disadvantage…
i don’t remember blaming or lacking empathy for people who are perceived as ugly.
In fact its funny that you say that people with looks that aren’t conventionally “attractive” are “disadvantaged.” which by the way is a fucking awful way to look at people.
It proves my point that you arent ugly because of how you look but how you act and to me thats what makes you ugly.
and you are quite an ugly cunt
Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.
Are you japanese or something? I swear I heard this from an entertainer from there when she asked her boss why was everyone so pretty at the company.
no ive just been lucky to meet truly beautiful and gorgeous people who are not conventionally considered “attractive.”
LOL
Are you sure there are few ugly people? Ah wait… that might mean I am one of the few. Sad
He’s not even ugly, he just needs a better haircut and a tan lol
Haircut sure, tan tho?? What are you 45? He also needed some different glasses and maybe hit the gym more. I hate how that makes me sound haha
Hitting the gym and a little more thought into his dressing?
What are you a womanizer red pill guru?! Next thing you know this guy is spinning 5 plates of spaghetti.
Oh god I’ve been exposed.
A tan would make him look less like a corpse
Hey I think corpses are sexy
Yeah, some women dig the marilyn manson look lol
I read this comment on Youtube long time ago lol
Damn bro even the “ugly” guys have more luck than me :(
I mean she found him cute so he wasn’t actually ugly.
I on the other hand get “oh, you looked better from far away.” You want ugly I can show you ugly! Lmao
Edit: I’d “love” to gross you all out with my picture, but I value being at least somewhat anonymous so I don’t want to link a picture to my username lol
Sorry but can you show me? This is so relatable
Mix Peewee Hermans face with Danny devitos hair and height and then imagine that person is actually uglier than just that combo lol
I feel attacked. First of all, both of those guys are hot. Paul Rubens was always hot as fuck in my opinion. Seriously. He’s just my type. And Danny Devito is one of those guys that becomes hot as you get to know him a bit. Then, he becomes a complete fucking stud.
Hard to imagine, also I don’t think that would necessarily be bad-looking. Hard to judge without photographs, would like to ask for one if it’s fine
I don’t really know how to do that without it being visible for others, I don’t really want to link my face to my account.
I know I’ve pretty much given up my general location in comments elsewhere, but I feel like I can be most honest when I have at least some form of anonymity lol
I see, sorry for asking. Have a good day!
No need to apologize, I appreciate your curiosity! I hope you have a good day too! :)
Show me
Imagine Peewee Herman but much uglier, balding, hairy, and 5’6" lol
Actually sounds kimda hot to me. Just because you aren’t attracted to you doesn’t mean I won’t be. I guess the trick is finding someone you are also attracted to in return.
“much uglier, balding, short”
“Sounds kinda hot”
Why can’t people like you live near me!? lmao
I should say that while I’m not exactly “picky” as in passing over people for superficial things, I also don’t want “just anyone.” So like sure, I could probably pick up a real mess of a person with all sorts of drama, but then I’d be with a mess of a person with all sorts of drama lol
Edit: Should have said I’m not calling you a mess of a person, just speaking generally lol
Tbf, you also said “hairy,” which is a huge turn-on for some ladies. My SO is obsessed with hairy. I didn’t know that was a thing until her.
Get confident. That’s what sold my girl on me. I walk, talk and otherwise behave confidently, even when I have no fu#$ing clue.
Bonus points: my SO also points out when other girls check me out. I’m oblivious to that stuff, so that’s a nice boost.
The confidence thing helps some people, but I don’t think I have much success with that. I come off as very insecure on lemmy because I’m anonymous and can be open and honest about how I see myself, but when I’m out and about I’m walking with my chest high and when communicating I’m generally charming, always aiming to make someone laugh.
For someone who hates a lot about myself, you wouldn’t know it at all if you met me in person lol
Ouch, balding, yes I get you fam. Also balding in my 23. If you talking about Herman in his youth, honestly he was good looking. So an uglier version of him sounds just average. I’m a very tall guy but that didn’t help me in relationship department so I can’t really judge by height.
Most ugly people are not really ugly, they just need a haircut and a higher quality webcam.
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This guy different from that guy who married a comment girl that only wanted benefits from his citizenship and divorced him like two months in?
Being ugly is really fucking hard, until you go full Tyrion and wear it like armor.
Not every dude has this luck
One posts about experience of being ugly
Look into it
Freaking average
Lmao, ffs. Are people teasing us who really struggle in day-to-day life?
Self Confidence.
You can be or feel ugly, skinny, fat, short, tall, average, and even stupid, but if you have self confidence, you will overcome and adapt whether shortcomings are self perceptions or others’ initial perceptions of you.
That said, don’t abuse this superpower, because being an asshole is the real ugly.
Have Casey Neistat’s ugly ass can be happy so can this guy.
I dunno, somehow doesn’t look that ugly to me
Some women are based. They’re just like “I’m gonna find a partner and just go hard. Let’s look on social media. Bam. Found one.” You have to appreciate, nay - be in respect and awe of the pure gall, the nerve, the gumption of this lady, the globes on this bitch. She made a life like it was nothing. I am intimidated, elated and my breath has been taken away.
God speed, dear lady. God speed…
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