“We’re seeing a greater need for authentic human connections”
I’m going to take a wild guess and wager that this is about increasing engagement by increasing the amount of opening moves that are created on the platform.
Dating sites profit by increasing engagement with the platform, not by getting you an “authentic connection” that gets you off the platform and into a healthy relationship.
There’s a reason people are going analog again. They know these sites are just a thirst trap.
Calling it a thirst trap is too innocent. These dating app companies are scum-sucking vampires designed to make most people feel lonely and desperate enough to give them money in perpetuity. People just handed one of the most important and intimate aspects of their lives over to US tech bros, pressured everyone else to do the same, and two whole generations are not just having less sex than their parents, but half of them have never had a long-term relationship as they’re approaching 30.
I feel like I saw somewhere that men message dozens of times more women than vice versa. I get their non-nuanced temptation but you can hardly call a system that encourages one gender to incessantly spam the other ‘engagement’.
I read that men have to send over 110 likes before they get a single response whereas women get 50-60 guys a day messaging them and they act really creepy like sending dick pics.
It’s absolutely true. I’m polyamorous, and various women I’ve dated over the years have shared their dating app situations with me. Not one of them didn’t have 999+ likes and/or a dozen messages from new men on that day alone (depending upon the app).
I prefer apps like Hinge and OKCupid. They allow me to tell more about what I’m about, and I get to learn more about them as well before I attempt to reach out. I’ve had fairly good success with both.
Hinge is the only one I use anymore. Honestly, you need to be able to say something. Just swiping doesn’t do shit. If they paywall that feature they’ll be sunk in no time. I’ll be the first to leave. But I’ve been dating someone for a little and it might turn monogamous soon. So, guess we’ll see.
If I may, out of curiosity, you say it “might turn monogamous soon”; when you first started dating, what were each of your dating styles? Has one of you been more monogamously-minded than the other? Is one person more interested in monogamy than the other?
That’s the way it works in real life tho…it’s not the apps fault. Women always have more options than men.
Isnt being approached by creeps part of the ‘authentic’ experience?
Not on your phone, though. That’s just ambush after ambush. Statistically, IRL there a higher chance of escape in that analog.
(Hol’ up. What’s a double entendre that’s not sexual called?)
I don’t think double entendre is necessarily sexual
Double meaning?
Yeah, I was thinking a portemonteau, but that’s incorrect
A pun, usually.
It’s wild to me that anyone would say that sentence and not immediately realize they sound like an emotionless robot. Like damn, who would’ve thought people have a great need for authentic human connections? Not me!
This kinda shit you hear from people so deep in the world of product marketing is sickening and really shows how disconnected from they are from both reality and the point of selling a good product: benefitting people. I guess I’m just glad to see more stories of people ditching dating apps as they continue to become more predatory and less helpful.
Isn’t this the one thing that made it stand out?
Yes, but there is a new CEO, people are leaving the dating apps like crazy now, and they’re probably trying to do some shortsighted BS that will increase engagement now at the expense of eroding the long term health of the product experience.
It’s ok, they’ll make it up with some IA.
IA aka Inept Assholes
lol right? And wasn’t it for women to have a safer place to online date?
So they’re basically throwing women under the bus for money. Classy.
It doesn’t sound that way. Can you explain how the specific change does that? Sounds like to me it’s an option for women, and it’s done in a way that limits how they can reach out first.
One thing I’ll say about the old model was that out of all the dating apps, Bumble was the only one where every woman who I met or even just messaged with could hold a conversation. That one requirement of them reaching out first set the bar, and I knew they were making the choice to speak to me out of all the other guys they were drowning in. I ended up with more dates through Bumble than any other app, and even made great friends with some people I didn’t romantically click with. Online dating is awful, or was for me, but Bumble was the least awful one of the bunch. The new model sounds not so great.
I met my fiancée on Bumble 4 years ago, but I also created this from my experience on the app:
Which of those girls is your fiancée?
Not pictured; she spared herself the shame by having an actually good opener that referenced something in my bio
This says way more about you than it does about the women on the app.
really? I haven’t used Bumble myself but I’ve heard stories of guys with inboxes full of women just saying “hi”
Bots. Bots everywhere.
In my experience all the women do start with hi however 100% of them engaged with the conversation after that. It felt much better then getting a bunch of matches but most of them ignoring you(understandably).
Look at Fabio over here.
So… tinder? Every other dating app?
Bumble was unique because men couldn’t make the first move.
Right… so now it’s Tinder? Or every other dating app?
Bumble was unique because men couldn’t make the first move.
Right… so now it’s Tinder? Or every other dating app?
Bumble was unique because everyone on the dating apps is a bot except you.
they’re all owned by match.com anyway.
I don’t think Bumble is
Bumble is pretty much the only one they don’t own. The only other one I can think of is coffee meets bagel, does anyone still use that?
I think we should get a blind match dating app, where we emphasize on the content and not on the visuals. You just add some information about what kind of a person you are, what you are looking for, etc. and after you match and exchange some messages, you can open the pictures.
But dating apps are turning into those cheap e-commerce sites where everyone judges the items by the packaging and no one actually cares about the content. And mind you in a lot of cases the pictures of the packaging are highly exaggerated or from a couple of years, from better times. And you know, no matter how shiny this package is, there would be a day you will need to throw it in the trash and you will need to decide whether to throw the product along or only the package.
Excuse my metaphors.
I have an inkling that would result in people speedrunning all the stuff up until they can see what someone looks like…
Looks do matter, and everyone has different preferences.
The problem isn’t that people are judging people based on only their looks, it’s that these companies have tuned their matching algorithms to match people who enjoy each others appearance, and specifically don’t like each other as people.
In reality, for a satisfying relationship you need both. It’s really hard to be more than friends with someone that physically repulses you, and it’s really hard to be more than friends with benefits with someone you don’t like as a person.
By specifically tuning their system to only give you one, and never the other, they keep people in the grind. You might be pretty happy using these apps for hookups, but even there the algorithm will actively be working against you stumbling onto someone you might wanna meet more than once, because they want you back to swiping for the next person asap.
The fact remains that the matchmaking industry is doomed to be toxic in a capitalist system, because actually being good at it, also means getting rid of your customers.
You should take a look at blindmate. It does exactly what you imagined. You just upload some Fotos, Friends of yours answer some questions about you and swipe for you. If you have a match you write a little bit and after every other message you unlock a bit more on the others profile. I don’t know if it’s currently available outside of Germany.
I think we should get a blind match dating app, where we emphasize on the content and not on the visuals. You just add some information about what kind of a person you are, what you are looking for, etc. and after you match…
And it’s only the morning after that you’re allowed to turn the lights on.
Five bucks says all the first messages from men are asking if the woman chose the bear, and if they answer yes calling them some slur.
I don’t get it: a bear just makes more sense. Despite their intimidating appearance most are gentle creatures. Their fur and mass can provide warmth, and if you’re injured they can easily carry you out of the woods.
If you pick “random man” you might get a twink and I feel like they’re more of a liability in a survival situation.
If it’s a black bear, fine. But fuck grizzlies, those are mean motherfuckers and you do NOT want to be caught around one.
Oh, they’re talking about bear bears – the animal.
… I feel like the original scenario didn’t make that clear.
I’ll take that bet.
How would you like to pay me?
I’ll send you some rolled coins.
In penny’s please. I’ll let you pay for shipping. :)
Sadly I’m Canadian and we no longer manufacture pennies. Nickels ok?
So no USP any more?
I guess yes, they have a ton of users so I guess thats why they decided to change the model
I don’t see how that makes any sense. Unless it’s “guys can also make the first move, if they pay”. That would be in line with what I’d expect from a company in 2024.
They’ve had that feature for a long time already.
The CEO of Bumble’s parent company, Richard Pictograph, pushed for the feature
The bar is no longer “up here”.
