Experiencing firsthand how difficult an aging alcoholic, quadriplegic, post stroke, narcissistic, demented or simply ‘nothing’s wrong with me, I can drive, I don’t need those meds, I don’t need to go to a nursing facility’ kinda parent surely gives you some insight on what to do, what not to do and how to prepare for our own aging and eventual demise.
How do you plan to age gracefully and what advice do you have for us all?
Stay active. It really is “use it or lose it” with physical and mental abilities.
My aunt and uncle are both 90. My uncle has always used a treadmill or standing desk for his computer and pulls long hours in front of it still doing pro bono legal work even though he’s been “retired” for several decades. He walks to the grocery store and carries the groceries home. He walks barefoot around the block every morning and has a body weight fitness routine he does every other day. He’s doing just fine, his brain wheels turn a little slower but they work just as well as ever.
My aunt got very sedentary around age 75. Her mother developed dementia around that age and she just sort of settled in and waited for it to come. Maybe it is hereditary and there was no point in doing anything else, maybe not. She’s wheelchair bound now, just from lack of strength, not really any medical issue. She can take a few supported steps to transfer, but that’s it. Her short term memory is gone, I go have lunch with her twice a week and she knows who I am, but as I’m leaving she’ll say she’s sorry we couldn’t have had lunch while I was there and it’s a shame I can’t visit more often. It’s not really out of bounds for 90, but I’d rather take my uncles route than hers.
My mom stayed fit and walked everywhere, and was a teacher and curious lifelong learner& traveler sort of person and still got dementia before she died. Her mom too. Honestly it terrifies me but there is only so much you can control. I do work out and stay fit and so far so good, I honestly feel great. My hope is that science comes through with a good treatment, and between me & my husband we have a lot of children to hopefully help some if we need it.
and this is why we should be rioting in the streets about the state of the medicinal industry, we could have the ability to cure terrible ailments like dementia and cancer, but because that’s not actively profitable we only allocate some token amounts of funding to the research, and what few treatments we do have are hideously expensive for many people to the point that they might as well just spend the money on enjoying their last few years of life than spend it on extending their lives by a few more years…
We as a society have just decided that profit for a couple thousand rich people is more important than ourselves being able to continue living.
Thank you for this rant and I agree, I ought not need to spend years being greedy as fuck just to be able to afford end of life care.
deleted by creator
I’m mostly hoping I can figure out suicide before dementia. That’s no way to go out.
you can decide to be a hero when the moment comes.
Embrace the old ways of the Klingon, like a true warrior!
I’m moving into a retirement community. Get in there early enough and they have to take care of you until you die. But before that point, retirement communities are like dorms without having to worry about grades or getting pregnant. Lotta syphilis, though, I hear.
I’m making a big conscious effort to hear out and be in tune with perspectives of people of all age groups and to not deny anyone’s experiences just because they’re not my own. There are such generational divisions that, being between the older and younger generations right now, I can see so clearly. That makes me want to go out of my way to avoid it as I get older.
I’ve been dealing with my 85 year old uncle who recent fell and broke his hip again. I’ve learned the following:
-
Physical exercise is important! My uncle could barely walk before, which is probably why he fell. While he was in the hospital he physically could not sit up on his own (no upper body strength) and now cant lift himself into/out of his wheelchair. I’ve decided to start working out more and focus on strength.
-
Listen to your doctors!! After he broke his hip the first time, he refused to do physical therapy and would not use his cane. It’s obvious that both of these things would have helped prevent him from falling the second time.
-
Be kind to the people around you! My uncle is narcissistic and insults friends/family when he gets comfortable with them. This meant that for most of his stay in the hospital, I was the only person who visited.
-
Oh I’m not. I plan on dying quickly and, if possible, with a large boom.
My options are likely to be:
A) Live 5 years unable to remember my work, with added incontinence.
B) Go out trying an experimental age reversal treatment - because why not roll the dice one last time?
C) Not survive to old age due to overwork, burning out my body one semester at a time.
C is most likely, B is the plan, and A is to be avoided at all costs!
Try my best to save and prepare enough funds to live without having to depend on family to take care of me. Then try my best to take care of my health as I get older so I don’t get seriously sick.
As someone who cares for elderly people sometimes, please please fill out an advanced directive (not just a living will). It’s a sort of “if this, then that” for health scenarios. It’s immensely helpful when when caring for someone not well, and can be much more stressful without one. I have had dying, incapacitated patients wait weeks for guardianship or POA-HC to be processed before care can be changed to comfort measures, because they did not have one on file.
Get one from the hospital you would likely go to, fill it out, give them a copy, keep a copy, and give a copy to who you list as a decision-maker. You do not want to add the stress of logistics to an emotionally difficult time.
I think as a society we should embrace death more. Pretending it doesn’t happen just makes things worse when that reality of mortality unwaveringly stares you in the face.
I don’t have kids but I’d kind of like to have adult kids when I’m old. So maybe I can adopt a college age person when I’m like 50 or something
I don’t basically drink any alcohol and I’m relatively active and fit and I plan to stay that way. There’s not much I can do on the mental side of things but the physical side is almost entirely in my control. What motivates me is looking at the average 60 year old male and thinking to myself that I don’t ever want to be like them.
low/no carb diet. Exercise daily. Get lots of sleep. I’m 47 and feel better now than I did in my 20’s when I ate the standard american diet. Meditation and yoga to get rid of daily stress.
…what do you mean no-carb diet? are you charging yourself from the wall outlet?
There are plenty of fats and proteins you know.
I am not. Just hope to die before I need to be taken care of. Especially since I want no wife or kids
