Dad here. I simply don’t offer if it involves their kids, it is far too likely to be misconstrued. Plus, that mom is probably doing all she can to keep it together, and knowing that someone noticed could put her in a worse place mentally. If I’m out with my wife, she has offered out help before, and that is much less likely to be judged. It’s just a fact.
(I will offer to do things like take the shopping cart back, but I would do that regardless of whether they have kids with them or not.)
I have sometimes seen little kids wander off while their mom wasn’t looking. I do pay attention to where they go, and try to keep them in sight. Sometimes it might have only looked like they were wandering, only to find they were going toward another trusted adult. But other times you can see that moment of panic on the mom’s face when they realize what happened. It’s enough to be able to point and say “they went that way” and they can go get the kid themselves.
I won’t interfere unless the kid is going into a dangerous situation, like a street or into water. Even then, I won’t touch the kid unless it’s the last possible thing to do to keep them safe, I am more likely to get in their way and ask them where their parents are.
What sort of help? Get something for me while I wrangle the kid? Sure. Also blocking if they are running off and turning them in the right direction, sure.
No I wouldn’t have handed off a baby to a random dude, even though I’m sure that 95% of the time it would be safe to.
How about to a woman? Also just oit of curiosity what type of neighborhood do you live in: rural, suburb or metro?
Not the person you replied to… but I agree with them, and I wouldn’t give it to a random woman either.
No, probably not, and I live in a mid-sized city, so between metro and suburban I guess. Again, I do think it would be safe and overwhelming percentage of the time just wouldn’t FEEL safe.
damn im sorry that you’re only getting dads
It’s all good. I figure it’s an uncomfortable question
Also, I suspect there is less female representation here than other social media.
Heya. I noticed your kid is being a shit. Want me to pretend to kidnap them and act like you’re mad enough to be okay with it?
“Also I already have the van with “free candy” sprayed on, everything would look authentic”
What a strange and sexist question. I’ve been asked by random mothers to carry their buggy with kid up the stairs, off the train etc. before. If I would speak the local language where I live, I probably would’ve offered. Judging by the comments here, I’m glad I didn’t make that mistake.
Oh, if I’m asked, it’s a different story. It means the mom needs the help and does not mind it. But it’s a sad fact that too many people (particularly in the US) are paranoid and their mind immediately goes to the worst possible scenario in a new situation. So if I offer without any context whatsoever, they will think I’m some sort of weirdo.
I’ve been given the stink eye before while at a playground – while watching my kids. Hey, Karen, sometimes dads help out with the kids, too!
Well Americans are kind of known for not keeping to themselves and being chatty with strangers, when abroad at least. Even personal questions etc. So it’s strange to draw the line at helping others.
So, I’m not a mom, but I am a dad, and I won’t say absolutely not because I think there are simple ways that someone could help without potentially endangering my family, but for the most part, probably not.
Like, are we talking about holding a door open for someone pushing a stroller, or “Can I watch your kid while you go inside and shop for groceries in peace”?
There’s a big difference there.
I was thinking more that the kid is a spider monkey while at least one hand is full with other issues. Such as another child, a grocery kart, etc…
What type of help would you be offering in that example?
Mom here. Depends on the situation. My dog once got off leash while I was pushing my kid in a stroller. She wouldn’t come near the stroller. A man watched the stroller while I got the dog. But I wasn’t far from my kid (10 feet, maybe) and the park was full of people. I likely wouldn’t accept help if my kid was just misbehaving.
FUCK NO
Its wierd being a guy nowadays. Even years ago I remember going to the zoo with my wife and she is a picture taking type with a nice camera and there is this merry go round. Well she wants to go around and get pictures from every point but there are these benches and im like. ok well im tired im going to sit here and when you are ready to move on get me. Well when she was about half way around so just opposite me I suddenly realized im this guy sitting alone on a bench watching a merry go round filled with kids. Man was I glad when she was done and we were moving again.
I’m not a mom, but I’m a dad and also I would say fuck no.
