You have all the powers that Putin currently does. Everyone completely loyal to Putin is now loyal to you. Enemies of Putin are enemies of you. Putin no longer exists, and there has been a clean and absolute transfer of power to you. The economic, military, social and political situations are the same as they now are. You are not inhabiting Putin’s body, you are just you. You’re magically transferred to the Kremlin. The world at large doesn’t know your past life, to them you have magically appeared as the new ruler. To everyone who knew you before, you just vanished.
Edit: no one knows your past life YET. They’ll quickly figure it out. You will not lose any support based on your actions in your past life.
Try to learn Russian really quickly.
You’re the president, just make English the official language. Now it’s their problem.
Blyat
- Give Volodymyr a call
- Pull out of Ukraine and Georgia
- Hand over Putin to ICC
- Instruct the loyalists that democratic reform is coming, and nobody is to be given the window/tea treatment.
- Call Navalnys widow and tell her to prepare her political aparatus
- Announce an election in 6 months (should be enough to prepare everything, I guess?) with international observers encouraged to participate
- Realize that I have no fucking idea how to ensure that elections on that scale are free and fair, so I ask for assistance from aforementioned observers.
- Pull an epic prank on Lukashenko. Possibly involving potatoes.
- Realize that I am in no way fit to run a country, and start planning my (safe) exit. Once the election results are in I’ll be gone without a trace.
- Repeal putins laws
- Start releasing political prisoners
- Last thing I do before leaving is calling this guy named/called Misha whether he’s fine with Murmansk, or if he wants the city to have a new name.
- Get murdered somewhere around step 4 at the latest
Fortunately for OP, they didn’t use numbered bullets, so they’re safe!
If I were truly thrown into this scenario, my first step would be accepting likely death. Even if you maintain status quo and do no good, you’ll be killed by the next guy in line. There’s nearly no way to both satisfy the current oligarchs and maintain enough power to prevent being replaced by one of them. There is also no way out, as Russia has carried out assassinations in foreign countries. Not that you’d make it onto a plane.
So I really would try to do all that. I’d tell them that whatever force got me there also gave me time to enact failsafes so that, if I disappeared, every property that every Russian billionaire owned would make unexpected contact with drones. Then I’d go ahead and post Putin’s files with every billionaire’s dirt and holdings hoping to start some fires they’d need to put out before coming for me. From there, an aggressive push towards democracy by appealing to the people in the hopes that they’ll back me, which might buy a little extra time.
I think this secures a few hours. They won’t want to move against a complete unknown that suddenly became president. That’s enough to call Biden (allegedly to negotiate US withdrawal from Ukraine in exchange for election interference in Harris’s favor) and send him every bit of data on the military that I could. That might be enough deterrence to buy more time: “the US military knows everything now, so killing me might have consequences.” I’d CC several other NATO members, but for time’s sake Biden is probably the one to call.
Maybe I could get some bodyguards that appear loyal to me, maybe not. But every bit of bluster I could muster, I’d throw it down out the gate, then start trying to fix the country before they call the bluff.
Yeah, I still die quickly, but even a single step towards improvement is worth my life. An easy decision to make when it was forfeit the second I became president. Even if I failed miserably, merely dumping presidential documents would have been worth it. Perhaps it’d get the ball rolling.
Edit: I missed the part where everyone loyal to Putin would be loyal to me. That opens up a ton of space to actually set up these failsafes or move against the oligarchs myself, as well as secure the Kremlin with men more or less actually loyal to me (by wiring them all a million USD on the spot with promise of more). Putin put down a rebellion from one of the most powerful oligarchs, so there might actually be a way to survive long enough to do many of the things on that list. I’d probably not dump the oligarch files and keep that on a disappearance failsafe then proceed mostly the same hoping to generate serious, potentially irreversible momentum before dying.
Sounds like a good way to get a pro Putin oligarch elected. Even with fair elections they have a lot of support.
Nice try, Putin.
Just asking for a friend
Probably shit my self.
Not because it’s scary or something, just because I have so much power that I can shit myself and no one would dare say anything.
I think i’m starting to understand dictators
Probably get assassinated if I’m being real
Ideally, I’d call up Zelenskyy, ask if he wanted to hang out, have a beer and offer him the job.
Realistically, I’d be doomscrolling on Lemmy, have a wank, get drunk and go to bed.
Get the fuck out of Russia
Oof, they’re already in a population crisis
For starters:
Arrest Putin and all his enablers.
Stop all hostilities with Ukraine.
Return all prisoners.
Help rebuild Ukraine.
Develop Russia into what it can be. It’s the largest country in the world, lots of land and resources. Build it up responsibly and sustainably.
Recognize the positive achievements of Russia while trying to avoid past mistakes.
It’s the largest country in the world,
It’s a federation. You could balkanise Russia into dependencies.
Invite DJT, Bibi and several other leaders to my dining room, on 14th floor, with great view as with many, many windows …
Stop the war.
Apologize.
Find someone else to run the show.
I’m not saying I’d demand a functional set of Doctor Doom armor, but I’m not saying I wouldn’t.
As I, Ivan IV, now stand as the undisputed ruler of Russia, my first act shall be to consolidate power by crushing any remaining dissent among the boyars. I will strengthen the central government, expand our territory through conquest, and establish a centralized, autocratic rule to ensure the absolute authority of the Tsar. The people will be brought to heel, and the Orthodox Church will be harnessed to support my reign. Russia will become a vast and powerful empire, feared by all, as I reshape it according to my vision.
Reminds me of an ‘elseworlds’ Batman story from a while ago.
Bats kills R’as al Ghul but realizes that Ghul’s evil empire is still operational. Batman takes the role of R’as, but sets it up so that all his top lieutenants take each other out. It takes a few years, but eventually the League of Assassins is a force for good in the world.
Something similar in Russia. Pit the worst of the worst against each other and let democracy prevail.
Do you happen to remember the name of it? It sounds good.
John Byrne wrote and illustrated.
The idea is that they start with the characters in 1939 [when they premiered] and move forward decade by decade. Supes stays young while Lois gets older; Robin takes over from Bruce.
It’s been a while, but that should be enough.
I really don’t like that level of responsibility. Probably just put the country under anarchic rule, and head back home.
Put Zangief as my right hand.
