I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.
this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.
then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.
why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?
Anatomy is a mystery, but I did read that if your nose runs and your feet smell, it means you’re built upside down.
anuses are desensitized by all the shit they spew
Find a doctor who uses the little elastic bands to gather up the sagging anus skin making it smooth and firm again. It’s a game changer.
I know it’s not the answer to your question, but you should really consider getting a bidet installed to not piss off your hemorrhoids.
Speaking from someone who also has them and who got a bidet during covid. Life changing for my cinnamon ring.
cold, cheap bidets in the guest baths, expensive warm bidets in the master bath.
There are also cheap specialized squishy water bottles with little shower-like hooked ending that can be used as a bidet if you don’t want to bother with insalling a real one.
it takes 15 minutes, $20 for all the parts, a t splitter, a wrench and teflon tape to install a bum hose if you’re that hard up
This may be too deep a question for a Thursday.
Get a bidet!!! No irritation, just dab dry, helps immensely.
i have one! that didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away unfortunately
Hmm interesting. My experience is that the type of toilet paper matters much less with a bidet. I barely feel the paper in that case.
I didn’t say it didn’t eliminate the problem, I said it didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away
Oh, gotcha
new “with lotion” facial tissues
They were new in the 1980s, just FYI. The first ones were called “Puffs Plus With Lotion”
oh man time to start digging up some old TV commercials
Rub your nose on your anus and you’ll have your answer.
okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog … until you tell them.
Prepare to become famous after Google’s LLM quotes you in a few years.
…Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???
Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.
I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.
I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.
