• ninja@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    “Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.”

    Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were stuffed.

    “But we have also,” continued the management consultant, “run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut."

    Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The management consultant waved them down. “So in order to obviate this problem,” he continued, “and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and. . .er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances."

    The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the management consultant a standing ovation. The accountants among them looked forward to a profitable autumn aloft and it got an appreciative round from the crowd.”

    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • je_skirata@lemmy.today
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    4 days ago

    How can it be valuable when there’s so many dead leaves? Unless you mean to say they become exceedingly rare, in which case the ecosystem is screwed.

    • 11111one11111@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      That rules out the onvious… plant a fuck ton of Japanese maples. Whatever it is giving them value, the little weed shaped leaves are guna be top dog.

        • 11111one11111@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Gotta have something growing under the Elms and real Maples. Shiiit if the Japanese Maples are putting out 20:1 leaves of the big leafers and the big leafers are a buck then I might be better off planting 5 Lil Japanese Maples per big leafer.

          Really tho the money is in the purple leaf Maples. Those fuckers make it rain leaves, are dwarves of pure Maples but still bigger than Japanese (idk if those are even real maple trees). Best of all tho, all their leaves are the same size as pure maple trees.

    • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 days ago

      Nobody specified the value per leaf. Even if it was 1 cent per leaf people would be planting fuckloads of trees just to make money of the leaves every year.

  • dustycups@aussie.zone
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    4 days ago

    People would start killing trees for the dead leaves.
    Unfortunately I don’t think I’m even being cynical.

  • LemmyBe@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    People would start cutting down trees and plants so they could have more. Then that would cause inflation which in turn would cause people to cut more trees and plants. Carbon dioxide would soar, and then we all die.

  • dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net
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    3 days ago

    People who were already poor would remain so. Most people who aren’t wealthy can’t afford to own acres of land that doesn’t produce crops. If leaves suddenly became money, that would not change the fundamental needs people have of food and shelter. So you’d have the wealthy with vast swathes of forest that would slowly die as they carted out a lot of compost for use in markets, and people who live in apartments or other rental situations would never see a leaf on the ground again. You might see suburban homeowners get really good about caring for their trees and planting more, so that’s one possible benefit but overall this would be a nightmare.

  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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    4 days ago

    The only way I can see that happening is if ailiens get in touch asking to buy them.