…I feel like I want to counterpoint, but I got nothin. My brain instead want to combine Apollo 13, and that movie where Tom Hanks is stuck on an island talking to a beach ball.

But also, I want it to be a liscensed Gilligan’s Island parody. I want it to be like he’s stuck on the island for an hour before he finds Gilligan. Then he realizes there’s 7 other people who’ve been watching him this whole time. They were like “Oh, we’re not going near that guy. He’s fucking NUTS! You see that? He cut his hand, just to make a handprint on that volleyball in his own BLOOD. Now he talks to it, and argues with it, and has sex with it…this dude is nuts.”

And he comes running up like “HEYGUYSYAGOTTAHELPMEI’MANASTRONAUTWHOFELLFROMTHESKYANDMYOTHERTWOASTRONAUTCOPILOTSDIEDINTHECRASHANDNOWIVEBEENEATINGBAMBOOANDTALKINGTOAVOLLEYBALLFORSIXWEEKSBECAUSEITSLONELYHERE!!!”

And Gilligan would be like “Did you catch that, skipper?”

And the skipper would say “No Gilligan. I didn’t. I don’t speak crazy!”

And Gilligan would say "He said…

HEY GUYS YA GOTTA HELP ME I’M AN ASTRONAUT WHO FELL FROM THE SKY AND MY OTHER TWO ASTRONAUT COPILOTS DIED IN THE CRASH AND NOW IVE BEEN EATING BAMBOO AND TALKING TO A VOLLEYBALL FOR SIX WEEKS BECAUSE IT’S LONELY HERE."

And skipper would hit Gilligan with his hat and say “That’s not what he said, Gilligan! How would you ever understand him???”

And Tom Hanks would say “No, he got it right. Word for word actually.”

And the Gilligan would say “See skipper??? I understood!”

And skipper would roll his eyes and say “Oh, yes. I forgot. YOU speak crazy…”

Then the professor would pop out of a bush, and say “Oh, hey guys. Just wanted you to know I’ve invented a fully automated sex robot from nothing but coconuts and fish.”

While Mr Howel is hurrily running across screen like “Dibs!!!”