Is this real today or a prediction of the future?
It’s obviously fake, my Lotus SmartToilet only ever requests a face scan to verify my identity.
You gotta enroll in AnusID! The flush times are significantly faster and the probe to verify you only hurts a little.
PUCKERPRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN. PUCKER PRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN.
“I just gotta check your asssshole sir”
Anal print changed from hemorrhoids.
Please scan your genitals and a copy of your government issued identification to verify your identity.
You are attempting to verify a fact. Your authorization code is 42069. The future will never ask for your personal information.
Enjoy your flush!
Not even surprised they’re an apple user.
I dropped my phone in the toilet, what do now?
Well good thing it prevented you from flushing it with your phone in the toilet.
Phone don’t work anymore though. Now I’ll never be able to flush again 😭
Sigh, I guess I’ll have to do the waffle stomp from now on… 💩
Oh how the mighty have fallen. You once considered yourself worthy of Olympus and now you have regained your rightful place, pushing your waste into the sewer with your feet like the rest of us.
Fish it out.
“Subscribe to flush+ for just $39.99/month and get unlimited flushes!”*
*unlimited flushes between 3am and 4am only. All additional flushes are $2.99 per flush. Surge flushing rates apply for 2 hours following any consumption of coffee or Indian food
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