I’ve been doing this for some time now. Even if it’s something that I consider important.
I just don’t see the value in participating in a discussion that I have seen countless times already where the same points and arguments happen over and over again. One that I know wilI turn ugly. It’s exhausting and I’ve decided to just opt-out.
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Yeah on another community there is a single user who tends to say stupid stuff just to entice a hell thread I started arguing with them once I realized that there was no further need for the conversation I had won because they started calling me a liar I just block them and went about my day
Yeah. Why argue with cunts?
If the question is open, e.g. “do you like apples?” and the question is in my area of interest, I usually give an answer. But if the question assumes an answer or is deliberately polarizing, e.g. “why don’t you like apples?” I pass.
Religion.
Holy crap are do people on Lemmy seem to have a seething hate for them all. Not interested with debating over something we’ll disagree on. It’s just not a welcome topic here.
People online in general, and it’s becoming people in society at large at an alarming rate.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Yes. Especially Lemmy. People here love turning a discussion into an argument on shit they don’t know much about. Subsequently some of the most brazen and obvious strawmanning, wild out of field assumptions, and gaslighting I’ve seen online—usually with a lot of not reading full comments or disregarding context or 90% of the comment in general. You can constantly call them out on it and try to direct discourse back onto topic instead, but it’s almost always futile. For them, it was only ever a competition of feeling superiority of some kind.
I’ve never seen anything quite like it online. Reddit was mild in comparison.
So glad to see that others are noticing this too… The hive mind effect also feels even stronger than it used to on Reddit, probably because the audience here is less diverse.
Without knowing the data, I’m pretty sure I’m politically and ideologically quite aligned with much of Lemmy’s overall user base. Still, often when I point out misinformation or misconceptions even if they “don’t fit the narrative” of what I broadly believe, I get downvoted without anyone even responding with a counter argument. It’s extra frustrating because I know I probably agree with the opinions of those people downvoting me, it’s just that I believe there’s more nuance to many topics that I would like to discuss, but unfortunately the Lemmy audience acts as if everything is a black & white situation.
As admitted by some, Lemmy is a haven for outcasts who are insecure and in need of some sort of validation. They’re clingy about the things that provide it and touchy about things that threatens it, thus projecting an intensity in their interactions.
I see it as coping with helplessly living within an unfair reality. We need more zen in our lives.
Yep, I have written huge comments on my phone, only to hit cancel when I realize that I don’t have the energy to deal with it.
In the middle of my third paragraph I deleted most of this comment and reminded myself, my perspective is not needed.
Gender-related stuff is usually good to stay away from if you have anything even slightly critical to say about women and don’t phrase it correctly (such that women can’t be blamed for it). Saying positive/negative stuff is fine for men, bonus points if you bring up how nobody cares about them. Go ahead and downvote me, prove me right.
In my industry, people can get very toxic really quickly over minor details. I’ve decided quite a few times to just let things go, even if they are blatantly wrong.
You end up in a situation where the person on the other end really just does not want to drop it, has to “win” no matter what. Even if the subject in itself was something you went to school learning/writing a paper on.
The people that need to “win” drive me crazy. It’s not enough to them if you concede on some points, it’s not enough if you agree to disagree, they just have to be right 100%, and you realize they won’t be happy unless you say “Sorry, I was wrong and you were right.” and bow to their superior intelligence.
I’ve made the mistake of engaging with people like this before and it was a nightmare. Like you said, they wouldn’t just drop it, even after I explicitly said “Sorry, but we are going in circles here, we should just end it.” after an hour long discussion, where they could’ve easily taken their “W” from me walking away.
I get the distinct impression that some people are simply unable to concieve of a perspective different from their own. For lack of a better comparison, it’s like those Christian movies where everyone, including the atheist, openly believes God exists, but the atheist chooses to be an atheist out of spite or malice or whatever. So for some, disagreement is at best you being a troll or shill or bot, and at worst a frontal attack at their entire conception of the world.
Usually in online arguments I don’t expect to convince the person I’m arguing with, but to show anyone else reading the thread that an opposing opinion exists. But that said, sometimes I simply don’t engage if I don’t have the energy.
I do appreciate posts like those.
My objective when I look through a comment thread, especially in a topic I don’t know much about, I’m looking for the well reasoned posts. I admit I’m a human (confirmed via captchas) and love to have my opinions validated, but I also like to read a different take on a situation or issue. And because I am not in a situation where I don’t feel like I have to defend my opinion I’m more open to seeing a different perspective.
So thank you for taking the time to write those out - and to others that do that thank you as well.
This! You can never “win” or get the last word, but you can get the other person to show how bad their arguments are. You just have to trust that others will decide on what is right correctly.
I won’t discuss politics, and I won’t share personal info about myself in general
I’m a massive Doctor Who fan and discourse surrounding it has been ‘difficult’ for the last few years. As the quality of the show has varied, some fans have denounced more recent series, and others have become angry that they don’t enjoy the same things as they do. At the end of the day we’re all fans of Doctor Who, we just can’t agree what Doctor Who is, but I think we should accept that and all let each other enjoy the Doctor Who we want to.
Yes.
Anything even remotely, tangentially related to politics.
Yeah - I left Reddit long before the API crackdown because I realized people don’t create special interest subreddits to actually have a mature, intelligent discussion about their topic. They rather are places of worship, where criticism or rather anything but complete adulation is seen as “off topic” at best and as blasphemy at worst. And I’m not even talking about remotely political subreddits, rather than subreddits about e.g. cooking, podcasts, movies, music, etc. The result of which is of course is a completely imbecile crowd of people whose personality is 100% made up of being a fan of some thing, and who are unable to not discuss anything about that thing on a theoretical, non-personal basis. The type of people who send self-made cookies to podcasters hoping to become IRL friends with them ;-)
