Mine was having the sudden urge to hurl a random toddler who was teetering over the edge of a waterfall.
I often get the urge to steer into groups of pedestrians and cyclists or knocking over small road signs
Never did it obviously. my car would not survive that anyway.
Probs just Tetris effect from the hundreds of hours I spent playing GTA when I was younger. I’d always do that shit
I get bad short thoughts about how I could easily end so many personal relationships with a quick random punch to the face. Pick the right person and you could be ostracised from your whole family.
I used to
rummageruminate often, meaning that many old conversations, arguments, and aggressions lingered in my mind for days and would upset me very much. I went to a psychologist and she was incredibly dismissive so I had to deal with that on my own because I felt ashamed to go anywhere else. Thankfully, I don’t have them anymore or as much as I used to.I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
- Does this memory have something beneficial to teach me in this moment?
- Can I learn any more from this memory?
- The moment is in the past, and I’m alive here and now
- I am the only one who still remembers
- This memory is no longer useful, I will think about something else
- I’ll think about something now, because I’m alive now
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find
the word you’re looking for is ruminate
I do! I can’t believe I used the wrong one, that’s embarrassing. Thanks for the tips and the correction!
No worries! I used the wrong “your” the other day, all good
Please don’t give up on finding a mental health care provider who works for you! If it helps, think of it like shopping for any other product or service; you want to pick out food that works for you, clothes that fit you well, electronics you can use well, the right beverage you’re in the mood for in the moment, etc. and finding a psychologist who provides the psychological care that works for you as an individual is just as important.
It’s very important to remember that not jiving well with one psychologist, therapist, etc. is not in any way a failure on your part. Sometimes someone just isn’t the right service provider for you, and that’s nothing you need to be ashamed about.
If you are getting a builder to work on your house, a mechanic to work on your vehicle, and such it’s perfectly normal to consult with more than one person before picking out who you think is the best for for the job and to change providers if one isn’t working out, and your health is no less important to get the right person to work with you on.
I’d go so far as to say that the vast majority of people who use mental health providers have encountered one or more that just weren’t right for them, and I certainly count myself as one of those clients. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around for someone who works out better for you.
Most intrusive?
It think it’s probably a relatively common one: you’re at height, with access to the precipice, and your brain starts entertaining the possibility of jumping. Nothing compelling about it, in fact my rational brain always tells the stupid part “WTF, bro…” but nonetheless, the thought exists.
Occasional other random thoughts pop in to my head on rare occasion, but for some reason the “jump” one is the most common and the most irritating.
I should just go on a road trip again. Every time I get on the highway by myself, and I see that open road, I think about how I could just go and take another road trip.
Fortunately, I got a trip to the grand canyon lined up for this fall, if all goes well.
That I’d somehow developed Alzheimer’s in my 20s
My most common thought of all time or my most common that appears unprovoked?
My most common thought of all time is, just generally, about how mentally misguided humans are in general. In my experience, people predominantly have an “ask questions later” approach to things, and then when they do finally “ask the question”, it’s “how do I excuse myself”. My whole life, and everything I’ve learned from history, is shaped by this, and they hate pushback. If humanity killed someone for agreeing, in time, would they be remembered as a philosopher or a crazy person since inclination rules?
My most common thought that appears unprovoked is similar, it deals with the situations I’ve been witness to in the name of what I described and trying to think out what the implications actually are and what would be in the best interest of each situation. I recently watched a show about a guy who built 100 houses for people in an impoverished country, and people reacted to this act of charity by complaining he was continuing colonialism. Sometimes “I can’t even” is a perfect mood descriptor.
