I used to rummage ruminate often, meaning that many old conversations, arguments, and aggressions lingered in my mind for days and would upset me very much. I went to a psychologist and she was incredibly dismissive so I had to deal with that on my own because I felt ashamed to go anywhere else. Thankfully, I don’t have them anymore or as much as I used to.
I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
Does this memory have something beneficial to teach me in this moment?
Can I learn any more from this memory?
The moment is in the past, and I’m alive here and now
I am the only one who still remembers
This memory is no longer useful, I will think about something else
I’ll think about something now, because I’m alive now
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find
Please don’t give up on finding a mental health care provider who works for you! If it helps, think of it like shopping for any other product or service; you want to pick out food that works for you, clothes that fit you well, electronics you can use well, the right beverage you’re in the mood for in the moment, etc. and finding a psychologist who provides the psychological care that works for you as an individual is just as important.
It’s very important to remember that not jiving well with one psychologist, therapist, etc. is not in any way a failure on your part. Sometimes someone just isn’t the right service provider for you, and that’s nothing you need to be ashamed about.
If you are getting a builder to work on your house, a mechanic to work on your vehicle, and such it’s perfectly normal to consult with more than one person before picking out who you think is the best for for the job and to change providers if one isn’t working out, and your health is no less important to get the right person to work with you on.
I’d go so far as to say that the vast majority of people who use mental health providers have encountered one or more that just weren’t right for them, and I certainly count myself as one of those clients. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around for someone who works out better for you.
I used to
rummageruminate often, meaning that many old conversations, arguments, and aggressions lingered in my mind for days and would upset me very much. I went to a psychologist and she was incredibly dismissive so I had to deal with that on my own because I felt ashamed to go anywhere else. Thankfully, I don’t have them anymore or as much as I used to.I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find
I do! I can’t believe I used the wrong one, that’s embarrassing. Thanks for the tips and the correction!
No worries! I used the wrong “your” the other day, all good
Please don’t give up on finding a mental health care provider who works for you! If it helps, think of it like shopping for any other product or service; you want to pick out food that works for you, clothes that fit you well, electronics you can use well, the right beverage you’re in the mood for in the moment, etc. and finding a psychologist who provides the psychological care that works for you as an individual is just as important.
It’s very important to remember that not jiving well with one psychologist, therapist, etc. is not in any way a failure on your part. Sometimes someone just isn’t the right service provider for you, and that’s nothing you need to be ashamed about.
If you are getting a builder to work on your house, a mechanic to work on your vehicle, and such it’s perfectly normal to consult with more than one person before picking out who you think is the best for for the job and to change providers if one isn’t working out, and your health is no less important to get the right person to work with you on.
I’d go so far as to say that the vast majority of people who use mental health providers have encountered one or more that just weren’t right for them, and I certainly count myself as one of those clients. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around for someone who works out better for you.