When I get a match on a dating app, and it’s going well, I often run into the problem of not knowing how to conclude texting for the day. My social battery runs out pretty quickly when texting. Especially when I just met the other person that day. I usually just tell a white lie.
So does anyone maybe have a good line on how to end things casually, for the day? Or is this something you should tell them beforehand? Or is telling a white lie the proper way to go in this scenario?
Please let me know your thoughts on the matter.
Hey, thanks for taking the time to chat, I enjoyed it! I gotta crash, but I’d really like to pick this up again tomorrow.
Be honest with them. There is nothing wrong with saying that you need to take a break from the app. You don’t have to go into detail either; a simple, “It’s been great chatting, I need to go do something else for a bit. Would you mind picking this back up later?” should suffice.
And if it doesn’t suffice – i.e., they get offended – then maybe they aren’t what you’re looking for in a relationship. Healthy relationships, even in the beginning, should be based on honesty, openness, and each person willing to give the other their space.
As for how much to talk to them on the app, whether to give out your phone number, or to meet them in person, is completely up to you and them and how you both feel things are moving along. There is no need to pressure yourself or the other person with some preconceived notion of how to do dating. Everyone is different. No two people will interact the same way. Trust your gut and talk to your potential partner about what they are comfortable with doing.
And congrats! Good luck!
Goodnight, talk soon.
“Alright i gotta go do some stuff. I’ll text you tomorrow”
I have no experience with this, but frankly, in a social situation like this, or in fact, any other, honesty is a good bet. “Start as you mean you go on.” You can do this quite nicely, and if they’re still insensitive that they take it personally and get offended, maybe that’s a good red flag?
Say, “it’s been great talking to you; I have things I need to do now, but I really look forward to talking to you tomorrow!” You can tailor it to how enthusiastic you are, where you are in the relationship, more or less flirty, more or less suggestive. The main thing is to simply be honest - you need to focus on other things, get some sleep, clean the dishes, eat, walk and feed the dog… you have life that needs taking care of away from your phone. And if you really are eager to continue talking tomorrow, saying that can really boost someone’s confidence.
It can be a fast wind down. Especially if you’re at a place in the relationship where you can make a date. “I’ll be done with work and able to focus on you after 5 - TTYT?” Or if you’re unsure about how far you want to take it, leave it open; tell them to text you when they find time.
Honesty is almost always the right answer.
unless you’re going to start sending feet pics I’m done for the day
Ask if they prefer an Irish Goodbye or a Midwestern Goodbye.
Mention wanting to save battery life.
Lots of texting in the presence of such doubts is destructive IMHO. Have a voice phone call instead. If you have to text I’d say “I have to go offline pretty soon, I’ll be free tomorrow after about 6pm” or whatever. I just hate long text conversations though.
“I’m tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”
You know anyone for whom this line has worked well? 🤨
In my book, getting to that point without a plan to meet is a failed interaction. No one wants to text all day. It’s the small talk we do to get to the point where we meet people we’re interested in. It’s a tryout to make sure you’re not a weirdo or jackass. So do a little ice breaker, discuss two to three topics, then suggest exchanging phone numbers so you can meet up sometime. No one wants to text for three days straight. They’re waiting for you to ask for their number.
