Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
Million-to-one shot, doc!
This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
who tf putting a key up there?
Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️
Did you try jiggling it?
No, it got stuck because it’s dark, so I had to look for it with my flashlight.
It jingles when I fart. Also there’s this weird squeaky sound.
On an unrelated note, I can’t seem to find my rubber duckie…
I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.
Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren’t known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?
Mainly the intense drive for sexual stimulation on meth combined with disinhibition and just general bad decision making.
Yes. Alcoholic beverages are generally legal, within sensible context and one’s local laws anyways. But meth and meth paraphenalia such as pipes are illegal practically everywhere. Which means it’s more likely to find a meth pipe up someone’s ass than a beer bottle.
Although this is a generalized assumption, I’m sure there are some daring people out there that have had larger things up there…
I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.
The reference for the younger among us.
This sign was made by someone who’s never wiped with single-ply before.
…and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that’s their fetish… Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won’t eventually come out naturally… They’re looking to bring attention that they’re up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.
Given US healthcare, that’s gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.
Speaking from experience? 🤔
Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I’m going to the hospital asap.
“it’s going to come out anyway” sounds like Darwin-award last words
I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.
… that sign … they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.
“We are discreet. But we also think it’s funny.”
Egg? What if it cracks?!
What if it’s fertilized?
My MMA trainer said it was actually more effective to boof raw eggs than drinking them.
South Park did an entire episode on it, so it must be true.
I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…
