I’m not hip to the lingo

  • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeEnglish
    45·
    2 months ago

    These terms are usually used when talking about the dating scene and they originate from the movie Matrix where taking the blue pill means you’ll stay blissfully ignorant where as red pill means seeing the harsh reality of the world. In dating contex this usually means the idea that women only want rich and high status men who are over 6 feet tall, muscular and have a huge dick and if you want a quality mate you need to achieve these things one way or another.

    Black pill just takes this one step further. It’s basically like going from determinism to fatalism meaning that since you didn’t win the genetic lottery there’s nothing you can do about it so just accept the fact that this is going to be your life untill you die.

      • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeEnglish
        9·
        2 months ago

        Well not really. Those are different things. Black pill is about how you think, while incel is about what you are.

          • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeEnglish
            10·
            2 months ago

            Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.

              • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeEnglish
                10·
                2 months ago

                I think you’re being a bit unfair there. These attitudes often stem from their inability to form relationships. The struggle came first, and the resentment followed. They aren’t without sex and relationships because they’re inherently hateful people; rather, the hatred emerges from prolonged frustration and rejection.

                In most cases, I believe the inability to get into relationships is less about character and more about factors like social awkwardness, lack of friends, poor hygiene, unfortunate genetics, spending too much time online or gaming, etc.

                • snooggums@lemmy.worldEnglish
                  2·
                  2 months ago

                  These attitudes often stem from their inability to form relationships.

                  Because of how they think making them have awful personalities.

            • snooggums@lemmy.worldEnglish
              3·
              2 months ago

              Nobody is celibate against their will. They might have difficulty getting into relationships, but they are also choosing not to use the services of sex workers.

          • WhyFlip@lemmy.world
            2·
            2 months ago

            The term, “involuntarily celibate” is not about how someone thinks, hence the “involuntary” portion of the phrase.

        • Asidonhopo@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 months ago

          Arguably blackpilled folks are less problematic than incels since they have given up looking and perhaps developed a better attitude toward women (paradoxically) while incels hold a shred of toxic hope that their tradwife will swoop in and save them and that hope eats them alive. Note: I am not a scholar of either community’s worldview

          • mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world
            3·
            2 months ago

            I had only just learned the term but I’m probably a black pill, and it’s different.

            My wife and I are having trouble, and divorce is on the table.

            When she asked about what am I going to do? I said I don’t intend to ever get into another relationship. Apparently that was more hurtful than trying to replace her… Go figure.

            I’ve had enough relationships in my time to know they are all pretty much the same, and I think I will be better off just not with anyone else. I’m sure my patterns play into these dynamics, but I try my best to be a good partner and I think I’m just better spending that energy on supporting myself in the time I have left.

            I have kids and don’t want to put any pressure on them (IE I’m careful that I don’t want them to be my emotional support), but hopefully that will allow me to feel enough connection as I descend into hermithood.

    • cobysev@lemmy.worldEnglish
      14·
      2 months ago

      The common lingo originated from the movie The Matrix, where Neo was given the choice of taking the red pill and waking up in the real world, or taking the blue pill and staying in the fake fantasy that was his life.

      4chan adopted the term and started calling themselves “redpilled,” claiming that they were removed from the happy fantasy promoted in popular culture (wife, kids, decent job, etc.) and could see life for the harsh, cruel reality it truly was.

      The mindset spread to Reddit where a community popped up (r/theRedPill), espousing sexual strategies for men in a society where they felt sex was highly unattainable for their gender. It turned into a very misogynistic subreddit, hating on women who “could get laid anytime” and didn’t respect the plight of men who struggled for simple affection from the opposite gender.

      Being “redpilled” took on a negative connotation, turning into a darker, conservative term to support men’s struggles in life while at the same putting down women. Its original meaning has been corrupted into a warped idealism for men. One could argue it’s promoting the opposite of its origin; fighting to create a fantasy world for men to flourish without effort instead of introducing them to the reality that their struggles are all self-inflicted and needed hard work, patience, and determination to overcome.

      The term became well enough recognized that “_____-pilled” started introducing other concepts of being introduced to harsh truths in the world. In this case, blackpilled, meaning to give in to despair and depression in an uncaring, cruel world.