I work in a public school district and i visit about a dozen different schools. Bosses are making us share our calendars, thinking they’ll be able to track us and catch us doing something wrong. I’m planning to add “started my period” every couple of weeks. Are there other good outlook tricks to fuck with them?
ETA- This is my work calendar, not my personal calendar. I know that seems reasonable but it’s being done as a petty micromanagement tactic. There are about 20 of us in my department who drive from school to school every day working with kids with physical disabilities. They don’t just want to know when we’re in meetings - they want every minute of our day to be accounted for - 8 to 830 school A, 840 to 11 school B, etc. I go to 14 schools. If my kid at school A is absent or if i get a call from school J that i need to stop by to fix a wheelchair, am I supposed to pull over and update my calendar so they can find me? I could spend an hour a day in parking lots editing my calendar. Most days i eat lunch in my car between schools. Last year they made a rule that we can’t carry to-go cups because it looks like we have enough free time to drive thru Starbucks. It’s just to be controlling.
- Spam personal fake notes everywhere. “Joey’s little league game”, “Call dentist” and make completely useless ones like “remember the thing” for maximum annoyance.
- Add obscure religious holidays and random countries’ national festivities. “Bhutan Losar day. Get decorations.”
- Put in washed up celebrities’ birthdays “David Hasselhoff’s b-day”.
- Include random bad album release anniversaries. “18 year release anniversary of Kid Rock - Live Trucker”.
- Register inaccurate astrological milestones with random advice. “Leo ascending in Pluto. Good day for new beginnings”.
- Every once in a while add events that are just random characters such as “HERDBhbcdbcnn nnnnnnnn” which you can later claim were added accidentally from your pocket.
- Make sure some of the events are written IN ALL CAPS
- Be lavish with your use of exclamation marks!!!1!!111
- Occasionally add reviews of your day scheduled for a few hours later as if using the calendar as a diary, including details about health conditions and sex life. “Rough day today… had a lot of work and <partner> didn’t want to get frisky because of the hemmorhoids”
- Write down random math calculations here and there that suggest you are confusing the calendar with an excel spreadsheet “=27.5/3”
- Include the most bland and sad motivational quotes every couple of days with several typos as if written ina rush: “YO cndo it!!!” “YOU WILL ALEAYS BE BEeeTIFUL, gril. Ownit!!!”
- Add fake Google search queries as if confusing the calendar with your search bar “cheap viernamese restaurant charlottesville” “how dolphins swim so fast ND jump”
Extra bonus points if you can invite him to the “events” and get the calendar to send him push notifications for occasional 5:30 am “wake up early for the thing”. If he accuses you of bad faith for inviting him, tell him it’s the default and you keep forgetting to remove him.
Not only will this annoy him, it will render the system impossible to supervise and you can always claim you ALWAYS organize your personals through your calendar and this “is just how i organize”.
Good luck and give em hell.
Edit: Elaborated and more ideas
Edit 2: Few more ideas.
I love these! Thank you! When we take a personal day we now have to invite her to it in our calendar. I think I’ll be taking some extremely personal days.
Beautiful! Godspeed, brave soul.
That’s fuckin insane. Who is this turd
I assume this is a byproduct of politicizing school leadership positions?
Misunderstood your comment. My apologies!! <3
deleted by creator
You are petty and disagreeable to overreaching management, I love you.
Best part is, public school teachers are basically unfireable in most parts of the developed western world for anything short of Child endangerment, so they probably can get away with all of this and more. :D
Ily2
Yeah. Worst I’ll get is probably an email.
Remember the thing! 🤣🤣
Add your driving to/from schools to the calendar, turn by turn
- 9:21 - Leave parking lot, turn to Capital Blvd and drive 420 ft
- 9:22 - Turn right towards Trawick Rd and drive 2.5 miles
- 9:27 - Turn left, enter parking lot
Well I have a pretty good idea where you live :) (I used to live in Brentwood)
Had to do similar for a micromanager that thought I was lying about my start times. He started calling asking where I was seemingly randomly. Then I saw him driving around one day in the lot swiveling his head around and realized he thought I was clocking in from home. (At the time I’d been occasionally parking about a mile away and hoofing it so my fat ass could get steps in before work. I explained this but he didn’t believe it).
So from then on if I didn’t feel like exercising I’d mark my arrival and hide my car somewhere in the lot behind trailers, a big dumpster, etc. and watch him drive around searching trying to catch me out. Then I’d see him find my car and shake his head. He knew what was up then. He stopped stalking my calendar and me after a couple days of that.
I’d advise saturating him with an excessive amount of information. If he wants details, give him 10 times to many. Pollute every day with 50 status reports. Just keep on piling it on. If your boss decides to drive you crazy, then drive him even crazier.
Does your boss fish? If not, this might look disturbing to him.
Five Guys Hooker tournament 2-4. Entry: $75. Min length: 8". Biting = Big OFishing tournament sponsored by Five Guys from 2-4pm. Entry fee is $75. Any fish under 8" don’t count towards total weight. “Big O” lure is expected to perform well.
Resign, it will be better for both
Exploring options. Love my job and my team, but everyone above my immediate supervisor sucks! They take these director and Asst. Superintendent jobs to bump up their ‘five high pay years’ before retirement, even though they’re not qualified.
Add a bunch of just normal things and then right in the middle:
10:45 - Rectal exam
1300 rectal exam
1700 rectal exam
2245 rectal exam
self- rectal exam
Just like checking your breasts for lumps, the fight against colon cancer begins at home.
No I prefer to start at work
My recent benefits enrollment meeting talked about being able to do an annual physical through a virtual visit. Being a man of a certain age, “self rectal exam” was the first thing I thought about.
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
If it ain’t on the calendar it ain’t happening
They keep telling us that. Leaves me wondering if i should just pick one kid that i really like, never put their visits in my calendar, and then just spend all of my time there trying to make up all the times i didn’t see them.
Your school district has crappy leadership. Look for a better district. Put those job interviews on your calendar.
We hired a new superintendent a few years ago. Since then they’ve been chasing away the old people and hiring their friends, who suck. They’re all just trying to get higher paying jobs to bump up their ‘five high years’ before retiring.
Period every couple of weeks… lmao.
For every hour put “8am block” “9am block” etc and it will completely fill their calendar.
You could use a paper planner and refuse to use the calendar too.
I like this. Just one little further tweak: every hour block should be a time zone conversion to a completely useless time.
For example the hour long block at 8:00am would be:
0:00-0:59 Ugandan timeFor even more bonus points, account for Uganda not observing DST.
I love this!! Everything in my calendar is now going to occur in a different time zone !
This is great. And, i don’t know if you can color code events in Outlook, but if you can… color code anarchy.
I use a separate calendar for real stuff. Just making up stuff to put in this one and copying it each week.
Excellent!
Don’t add anything new to your calendar, just add them and they can see it’s useless for the purpose they want. When they complain, mention the checkin system and that you need to be called. Or just a generic “School Visits” event that isn’t specific to each location.
Make sure you have other evidence you’re actually working. Make sure people see you at each location so you have witnesses if your boss complains.
Have you ever thought of tracking your bowel movements?
Don’t forget to note consistency and whether or not there’s corn.
Be professional, use the Bristol Stool Chart.
I actually have that on the wall in a couple of my schools. I could take a pic and note my ‘score’.
A picture is good but a video really captures the consistency.
Your planned menu: all meals.
Including snacks. Notate all deviations, including free samples and “one grape from bunch”.
Get an annoyatron and put it in the ceiling above their desk.
What is an annoyatron, you may ask? It’s a tiny little device that beeps or chirps. That’s it. But it beeps at random several minute intervals like a dying smoke detector over it’s battery’s lifetime. Which can last over 3 years…
So, like a cricket.
