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Gonna take the hit on this one: a Joe Rogan bro. You probably know what I’m talking about, but to be more clear: aggro “alpha male,” gym rat or has a weirdly intense workout routine, takes a bunch of supplements, ready to believe anything pitched as “they don’t want you to know this,” weird diets of meat, “edgy” humor that’s more nodding and agreeing with prejudices than being funny, etc. Oh and listens to Joe Rogan willingly.
There’s nothing toxic about working out and getting strong, taking supplements etc. As long as you’re not harming yourself or other people then I see nothing wrong with it.
My dearly beloved ham casserole, I don’t think going to the gym was the toxic trait here.
Then why mention it?
Because it’s part of the mix of traits that that kind of group tends to have. It’s not one of the toxic ones but its part of the ones used to identify them.
It’s a stereotype. It’s designed for mental shortcuts. But then it also casts a much wider net than it ought to and ends up harming innocent people.
It’s a stereotype
Without going too far down the slippery slope: stereotypes exist for a reason. Nissan driver? No insurance, late on car payment, dead-end job. Furry? Gay or bi, nerdy, works in IT or STEM. Boomer? Can’t operate a computer to save their life, is angry and scared about electric cars and renewable energy, their house cost $30k and they don’t realize why kids these days don’t have one.
There’s outliers, sure, but…
Because it’s likely the first thing you notice and then you look for the harmful secondary traits.
Like a guy that has a really short fuse with himself. He might just have really high expectations for himself…… buuuuut once you notice that first trait, you keep your eyes out for the secondary ones, where he has a shorter fuse with others.
Customers hitting on people at their job.
Was eating lunch at a bar one time when three dude bros came in and started hitting on the bartender. They weren’t overly aggressive but it was obnoxious.
She handled it really well. She looked each of them in the eye, smiled, introduced herself and shook each of their hands in turn. She stated she was a professional and appreciated being treated like one. She was friendly but firm.
Shut them right the fuck up. They behaved much better after that.
She has done countless subsequent women a huge favour.
Honestly, not checking in on each other.
There are a lot of stereotypes in this thread, and some I’ve encountered, some I haven’t. But I do know that there is an epidemic of loneliness among men, and it is very real and sometimes deadly.
Damn, this needs to be at the top.
Of mind. Seriously. Reach out to your buddies you haven’t heard from in a few weeks. And don’t stop doing that. They’ll appreciate it, and so will you.
Agreed even just sending a stupid meme or a joke shows you were thinking of them and can be a lighthearted convo starter.
The need to make everything into a competition or to one-up any story or anecdote.
Making fun of people for admitting they don’t know things.
Bragging about sexual conquests.
If I wanted to know about your sex life I’d ask for your Only Fans.
O Hai, how is your sexlyfe?!
Oh hi, Mark.
It has to be
Hailol. Nothing else conveys the Wiseau-nessYeah I hear that.
Do you know about life???
Guy at work always starts saying sexist shit when no other women are around, maybe wanting to built camaraderie or something? Toxic masculinity is a myth. Women all want the bad boys. No thanks we can avoid the 1:1 convos from now on.
Not a guy, but the one that really gets me is willfully incompetence - particularly around household or family chores (and the mental load associated with them).
It’s called “brokedishing” and choosing the right dish to break is an art form.
I work from home so I typically do the majority of the cleaning; I don’t mind because I’m a bit of a clean freak anyway.
What I found odd is when my wife’s family from Mexico were visiting she turned into a maid and would shoo me away from things like washing a single dish (for example).
Not sure if it was cultural or what but it definitely threw me off — I don’t want her family thinking I’m making her do everything all the time.
100% a cultural thing. Depending on what part of Mexico they’re from, she may not want them to know that you do any chores. If a woman can’t handle all of the chores herself, it’s seen as a failing.
Super fucked up, but Latin America is in fact super fucked up.
Oh, that’s interesting. Could be a family thing. Could also be just a good host thing.
Yeah, sorry but this one is just counterproductive. Guys just don’t give a fuck. No one is going around “ooh, what if I pretend I can’t do this task so she then has to do it”. That’s just patriarchy and gender roles for you. Maybe try to have a conversation about the subject of chores without sticking the “you’re evil” tag on the other person. Well, for anything in life really. Also mental load is there for anyone, I see no point in bringing it up in this context. The dudes have to deal with a fair share of mental load as well, specially with all the emotional neglect and immaturity.
“Guys don’t give a fuck.”
That’s it. That’s the toxic trait right there.
What in the Sam Hill …
Needing to be not just right but the most right person in the room about everything
2 former coworkers of mine who always the smartest person they know. One of em lives alone and you can tell he’s never lost an argument (with himself in his head) and anytime he tries to back up his opinion it’s always the same “it’s dumb, it’s stupid, it doesn’t make sense it’s not LoGiCaL”. But anytime you try to chime in…he talks over you.
The other is one of those “I read both sides of the story so I know far far more than you”…who was a one of those reddit knowitalls.
There can only be one
My uncle who asks which peloton instructors I like informing me that he only picks the hot ones.
Like, you’ve been married to a woman for 30 years. I get it, you’re straight.
Just wish they wouldn’t have to shove it down our throats all the time
Not really exclusive to men; women thirsting after hot fitness instructors is a whole trope
guys at work comlaining about their divorce to anyone entering an enclosed room. four different times when i was forced to work in an office and twice so far in slack. mother fucker i dont known you but i already get why she left. stop trying to force random people to be your therapist.
I’ve seen this, and what bothers me most is when you get that nasty feeling they’re not looking for a therapist, but validation. Yeah, your ex-wife sucked, man. She was totally in the wrong about everything always, sorry you had to deal with her for so long. I’m sure you’re in the clear and there’s nothing you could be blamed for, it’s easy to tell from this one-sided retelling of your personal conflicts.
When anyone’s first topic of choice for casual conversation is how much their last partner was in the wrong, it’s… difficult not to be dubious.
Standard guy who can’t fathom the idea of changing or self-improvement. He’s never the problem.
Not understanding boundaries and not having/setting them and respecting others’.
You don’t owe shit to anyone and if they make you feel bad, they are often manipulating you. What you choose to do needs to be a hard yes from yourself otherwise its going through motions and can often be inauthentic which is inherently harmful to your sense and integrity of Self
People naturally test these limits and breach them all the time so it happens but you must train yourself to assert your will for yourself and how you respond to trespasses by setting those limits and then strongly upholding them when it comes time to address the opposing force, definitely for those who continue despite knowing the rules of the game you’ve set for yourself
to combine all 3 of the above, i worked with a joe rogan bro who would come up and show me a video of him having abusive sex with a hidden camera footage that the partner wasnt even aware of, to brag about his weekend conquest, then tell me how he stole her soul with surprise anal. then he dared me to show him something better next week.
Wat, people that ridiculous exist?
Satire probably
No I can confirm guys like this exist
I’m not sure why this is a thing more men do, but I can’t agree more. Generally, I associate this kind of behavior with poor emotional intelligence so good advice for literally any kind of relationship with anyone.
An egocentric attitude, like they’re the main character. Super fucking annoying.
Being afraid to ask for help, and general pride issues.
That the most manly thing you can do is be intimidating. Big muscles, big car, loud car or bike, acting angry or tough. None of these things make you more of a man, in fact offten than not they make you look insecure and less of a man.
I think the most manly thing I do is wear pink, I recently got a custom make shirt,bright pink with a big honkin “I love cowboys” printed on the front. Teenage me would be cringing but my thought is, “if you’re manly, you can handle the color pink”
Side note is old ladies love it
Learn from the bestThey definitely want to talk to you about your favorite Western romance series, just fyi
I mean my girlfriends super into that stuff, so I wouldn’t be too surprised
