I’ve mastered the ability to take any idea or thought and transform it into anxiety. Jitters McGee
Im a top 1% player in Rocket League after playing for 4500 hours. The skill gap between me and the best players in the game is the same gap as between me and a brand new player.
But i will still beat 99% of the game’s population.
Same for me, but with Tetris. I’m not the best, but I’m confident I can handedly beat the vast majority of the population. I spent most of my lockdown days just doing Tetris.
Did you mean “handily?” Or “single-handedly,” implying some sort of Teamtris?
Yup, thanks! I was trying to figure out which word I was thinking of. I must have malaphored myself
As an 800 hour player that has to put the game down because of competitiveness making me a curmudgeon – Wow, gotta say. That’s so much work.
Did you use the practice modes to get to be that level or did it just come to you during play?
- Tons of freeplay
- Tons of mods/workshop map
- Ive had some coaching
- And I also play in an amateur league
As long as you always play to improve, watch videos to keep up on mechanics/metas, and just immerse yourself in the game, you’ll always climb up. If you play at least 2 hours a day, you’ll be insane before you know it.
But in the spirit of this post, you could spend your time doing something so much more productive than a video game lol
Yeah same, but with like 2K hours. At some point I was Grand Champion 1 or something. I could probably win against 2 noobs without me using jump and boost, but in the few moments I played against pros I got equally clapped. It’s insane to me how much better pro players are.
After Epic bought it the whole game slowly went to shit though. Psyonix once treated the game and its community as their baby, but it just became a soulless money printer without any decent innovation. So I barely play anymore, even though the core game is ultimately still fun.
I turn yaml into aws bills
I wouldn’t call that useless. That is how you get to be the executive lead cloud DevOps engineer.
I can read UPC, UPC-8, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom of the bar code, hand me the lines, and I will tell you the numbers you tore off.
I used to work the midnight shift at a call center back in the late 90s. It was incredibly boring because we weren’t allowed to browse the internet when no calls were coming in (which was most of the time, got maybe five calls total per night). So I picked up a copy of Yahoo! Internet Life, a now-defunct technology-centered magazine. This issue had a how-to section for wacky shit like that, so I committed it to memory because wtf else was there to do?
Well that’s cool. Can you write in scan-able barcode?
No, there is too much precision required.
I can fluidly open a trash bag, pull it into a straight line, and toss it like a dart, landing it in an open trash can from up to 30ft.
This only works with those cheap bags that businesses use and this was honed over years of changing trash at various businesses. Not useful, very majestic though.
I can make double fart sounds by laying on my back and cupping my knee-armpits with both hands.
Not entirely useless though; I showed this to my SO 7 years ago when we started dating and she was clearly impressed as she’s still hanging around.
I can clap with one hand
That’s pretty useful of you’re at a concert holding a beer though!
Oh yeah!
Finally answering the zen question of “what is the sound of one hand clapping?”
I just tried and was successful. I have long fingers which probably helps. But it’s not as loud as when I clap with two hands.
What’s the sound of one hand clapping? ;-p
It sounds similar to normal clapping but more faint, and lonly and with echo, the damn echo!
I can hold a marker with my toes and write with it.
Ok so, how did you develop this talent??
By not having arms.
Write, “lemmy” with your toes and take a pic… Bonus points if you draw the rats face
I bet you just made up this claim… you probably can’t even hold a marker with your toes -let alone write with that marker!
It’s on the
TVInternetFediverse, so it must be true!
Alternating between American and British spellings like it’s nothing. I just use whatever spelling I vibe with at the time. I’ll do the same with units of measurement as well.
I learned to ride a unicycle.
I could never spin a pen around my thumb so instead I learned how to “flick” it, have it do a flip and land back in my hand.
I can also rapidly place two strips of tape on one another with no bubbles and parallel enough you’d think it’s one piece. However I can only do this vertically
I won’t say “mastered” as I have lost the ability now, but back in college Pokemon endgame content gave me the ability to read braille by looking at it.
That’s about as useless as possible.
And yet I’ve always wanted to do that 😅
See also https://xkcd.com/315/
I have an uncanny ability to do things that are unpopular, that later become popular, but I can never imagine them becoming popular when I do them.
Saw Nirvana in a crowd of 30 people before they got famous, certainly never thought they would, it was so different from what was on the radio then. Bought a shirt from them, out of their little van parked in the alley behind the bar!
Used to wear vintage dresses from the thrift store in the 1980s, nobody around me was dressed anything like that, but later all of them got bought up by flippers.
Had tattoos when it was remarkably unusual for a woman, like if another woman with tattoos saw me they would stop and talk to me, I never ever ever would have thought they’d be mainstream.
Lots of stuff like that, like I’m out of synch with time but I can never capitalize on it because I don’t have the vision to understand that it will catch on!
You’re constantly ahead of your time, without foresight. So you can’t seem to capitalize on it - oh well, money ain’t everything. You’ve got experiences no money can buy.
I can spew random trivia about every latin american country.
Give me your favorite please!!
There is a taco bell in the historic city of Antigua Guatemala. Guatemala also has like 30 volcanos and their flag is light blue and white with the coat of arms featuring the quetzal bird on it.
I can make baby elephant noises because I played trombone and fucked up my first attempt at lip buzzing
Hand farts, via practice.
Hand sanitizer really opens up avenues for expression.
Hmm hmm hmm hmmmm
A hand fart on land (lhand fart?) is an excellent water gun in the pool with some practice, fyi.
