It’s been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.
What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?
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Having 4 shades of grey as colors in a colored graph certainly is a choice…
The most distinct 8 colours are of course: Red, Blue, Blue, Black, Grey, Grey, Grey, Grey.
They’re all dubious relationships. Only work, friends and online lead to clear, healthy relationships.
/s
Possibly in order to be readable by color-blind people.
I’m sure off loading the human mating ritual to profit driven companies will have no negative effects on society whatsoever, this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels.
Is there anything we can’t privatize for profit?
Technology has found a new way for people to meet up and fuck, a thing that they had older and less efficient methods of doing in the past. What is the consequence of high-speed fucking? Fortunately, with the advent of contraception and prophylactics, I would say not much.
The means of communication have changed, but the innate human impulses and behaviors remain the same.
this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels
What is the fundamental difference between dudes cruising for sex in bars and nightclubs during the 1980s and dudes cruising for sex on grinder in the 2020s? What is the difference between speed dating and Tinder? What is the difference between high schoolers / college kids sexting and getting each other off over the landline?
Humanity has survived worse indignities.
Did you know, one of the biggest differences humans have from other animals is that they are of the first if not the only species to weaponize Evolution?
And by that I don’t necessarily mean against each other but other species, the cow we breed to be larger and more docile for better food, the dog we breed to be a better hunter and less aggressive, but we also breed it to it’s own detriment simply because it’s “ cute”., corn, tomatoes, melons … we breed or clone to be so big that it would be eaten to extinction if we didn’t use chemicals to Deter pests, not to mention the fact that most produce don’t even produce there own seeds anymore.
All to the detriment of anything humans cultivate, most of this was done subconsciously before we even knew what Evolution was and not out of malice but simply because it benefits the farmer.
If we give beading selection of any species including humans to humans within a very few generations they will start to show traits beneficial to the people selecting the traits, and no amount of “I’m not going to date someone I’m not interested in” will save you, after all Evolution is a tendency and outliers just do not matter, we are animals and it is more beneficial for corporations that are profit motivated to breed docile obedient stock that doesn’t complain.
You should check out Against the Grain: A Deep History of the Earliest States
This kind of symbiotic selection is not necessarily exclusive to humans or even animals generally speaking.
I’m sure I would agree with everything in the book, I have never read it personally but I have heard arguments and summaries about it, , it is one of the most depressing things to think about but I am pretty sure it helps my point not disproves it.
Essentially the first civilizations shaped the early evolution of mankind forcing them from a hunter gatherer society(violent and unruly) to a agrarian Society(docile and submissive) you can argue all you want about the benefits of these traits or even the necessity of them but you can’t argue that these forces are not at play and in full effect when it comes to dating apps, I personally find it disturbing but the fact that we are breeding a serving class isn’t nearly as disturbing as the fact that we are breeding a ruling class at the same time and we have every potential to separate into two different species.
it is one of the most depressing things to think about
I wouldn’t go that far. Its a trade off - predictability over longevity - that proved fruitful in the long run.
But, read from a certain perspective, it can be argued that grain domesticated humans and became one of the most prolific organisms on the planet as a result.
The collapse of society, visualized.
/c/dataisdepressing
Wrong thread or phone bad?
Explain your thesis.
The last really serious relationship started by meeting at a bar.
It was great because there was no expectations when we first started talking so the conversation was just natural, just two people talking. We exchanged numbers and soon started dating. I really think that it worked was because it was just an accidental meeting and we were both relaxed and had no ulterior motive.
I also think because dating in the wild there are fewer filters and few options, so you go with what you got. They may not be perfect but it’s better than sitting around swiping for the perfect person that may not exist.
Yup. I’m an awkward fellow but still have far better results approaching people in bars than on apps. People on apps are constantly pursuing the perfect match (including their perfect match) so everyone is collectively disappointed.
I want to know which couples were meeting online in 1980.
Bulletin board systems (BBS) go back to 1980. Men have tried everything to get laid since the dawn of humanity. It checks out.
Meeting online before Internet:
“sorry, I got kicked offline temporarily”
“Ouch! Are you okay?”
Scientists probably.
They probably meant in line, like at Kmart or whatever other stores were still open then.
Back when it was called “computer dating” and people printed dot matrix pages out with their interests.
Not quite the 80s, but I met my wife online in ‘93 or ‘94. Initially it was just a passing conversation a few times. We met in earnest in ‘95. She does not remember the initial meeting, we were both using different screen names.
University nerds with early access to early forms of Internet would definitely never utilize such serious world changing technology to chat and dawdle amongst themselves to the point a connection would form. It’s not like the entirety of video gaming was created by a nerd severely misusing an extremely expensive oscilloscope.
It doesn’t split, but I’d guess 99.9% of those online meets are dating apps (rather than other ways of meeting online).
That’s kind of sad, not because there’s any one way people should meet, but because meeting people is now mostly mediated through for profit companies.
You didn’t meet your spouse on World of Warcraft?
I’m from the south, what about family reunions?
I wish there was some granularity to “online.” I met my wife on a BBS in 94. It wasn’t a dating site, it was a discussion board, and neither of us was looking to hook up with anyone. There are lots of things like that, but I’m guessing dating apps/sites are the biggest component.
The number of people that met on BBS would probably not even register as a line on that graph, lol. You are a rare gem, good sir or madam.
I wasn’t meaning to say that my situation itself was representative, just that most people see that line and think dating sites, and that’s probably not completely correct. There are lots of online venues, like games, that aren’t dating sites, but I didn’t know what the breakdown is.
People who randomly throw out acronyms expecting everyone to know them are TEBM.
Honestly, WoW would be a not insignificant chunk of people that met online if it was split up into more granular data.
I bet you’re right, and significantly more if you included online games as its own subcategory.
Awesome. Met the wife on IRCnet, shortly after the great split.
Just got married to my wife this last weekend, who I met after being on Bumble for about 2 weeks… Gotta go buy some scratchers.
I wouldn’t have expected schools to be so low tbh
There is a big change these days to keep predators out of grade schools. It used to be the norm for a man to be 10 or even 20 years older than his bride. So I am not surprised to see grade school dropping.
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I remember being in highschool in the late 90s/early 2000s and someone found out I had an online dating profile.
I was relentlessly teased about it, borderline bullying.
I eventually met my current wife online, couldn’t be happier.
looking back, the teasing was likely because I was the only genuinely nice guy those girls knew and were upset their choices for dates were abysmal. it’s all for the best though, I wouldn’t have wanted to be around anyone who could treat me that way and be ok with it.
I’m pleased that the stigma against online dating has all but vanished.
If anyone is jumping into this thread: ctrl+f “fake”. There is a good discussion about the data that you shouldn’t miss.
Thanks, yeah that’s why I came here. For me though it is that a few percent got together in 1980 / early 80s. Now I vaguely remember the 80s and the “internet” from then. I can’t imagine any got together from “online dating” then or the internet overall. Do you have a concept of what “internet” was then?
No not really, I grew up in the 90s. Internet was mostly gaming and university websites for me
I first dated online in 1999, and the first woman I dated I ended up marrying and having two kids with, though we divorced in 2017.
I still date online these days, and I prefer it. It allows me to know a little about a person before I waste any time chatting them up, and the things I need to know are things they generally put on their profile. Things like their sexuality (since I am non-binary), their political leaning (I’m socialist), their relationship orientation (I’m polyamorous), whether our values match…you know…important shit. And those early conversations before we ever meet in person are low-key enough that I feel more comfortable with them IRL, something that helps me as an autistic person.
Surely this graph is wrong? In 1974 couples used to meet while kung fu fighting. A lot of research tends to prove it.
It’s hard to get a headcount when people are fast as lightning.
Q: “Why didn’t you get in touch with that guy you met at the kung fu fight?”
A: “In fact, he was a little bit frightening…”
Kudos to that handful of people who met online in the fucking 80s. Talk about meeting over niche interests.
