For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.
They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.
Blahaj mods (especially the one modding ghazi, transgender and 196) are the worst kind of mods. They promote blatant misinformation, remove posts calling said misinformation out, and they ban people and label them transphobes despite there being no transphobic words or implications whatsoever in your comments.
Just block the entire instance and move on. There are better instances that better represent the lgbt community.
Source: my ban message is the same as yours, and I have never said or implied anything remotely transphobic.
What I hate about blocking instances is that I no longer seem to get inbox notifications when a member of the instance comments on something in response to me, outside of that instance.
Like, my beef isn’t with blahaj users, and I don’t want to unintentionally ignore them because their admin/s are nutballs.
Unless it’s hexbear in which case the users are also nuts
I can tell you that a lot of the blahaj users hold the same mentality.
They named their instance after an IKEA product so I can only assume it’s a group of trans capitalists who fawn over corporations
Basically everyone on Lemmy not sucking their toes is a transphobe, even if you’ve never said a single word about trans people at all.
What are the better instances?
There isn’t (Although Lemmy.World & programming.dev are)
How do you see why you were banned from a page? I was banned from 196 too and I have absolutely no idea what I could have said.
From the Book of the Dude, the holy book of the Dudeism religion:
Incidentally, the term “dude” is commonly agreed to refer to all genders. Most linguists contend that the diminutive “dudette” is not in keeping with the parlance of our times.
So what you’re saying is that ban is religious discrimination?
I don’t want to be called dude or dudette, but I’m 95% certain this will change whenever I finally watch that movie.
Wouldn’t be a leftist platform if they didn’t spend the majority of their time and effort self policing based on their purity tests instead of doing something actually productive
The People’s Front of Judea vs the Judean People’s Front!
I still remember watching that socialist convention that spent an hour doing nothing but teaching people to wave their hands in the air to signal applause and running someone down that dared to use the word “guys”. Point of Personal Privilege, my ass.
Dude is gender neutral
Not to everyone, and that’s cool, until someone tells you not to call them dude anymore. Then your an asshole if you try to argue the gender neutrality of the term dude. Such as telling someone to get over it.
That’s like anything. If my name is Abigail and I don’t wanna be called Abby, I don’t have to hear an excuse as to why you wanna call me Abby. If someone isn’t comfortable being called a thing and they tell you so, you fucking abide by that. Everything else is weirdo behavior.
I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, yea!
How many dudes have you fucked?
Only the homies.
I call my wife dude all the time so at least one.
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Using “dudes” as a common noun, is different from using “dude” as a vocative, apples to oranges my dude
So is bitch, but if you ask someone to stop calling you bitch and they tell you to get over it, then they’re assholes.
That’s because bitch is an insult
Insult is very subjective. I have friends that call me and I call bitch all the time.
You’re arguing that the context is subjective to the word provided yes? Yet your example is also subjective, clearly when your friends call you bitch it’s not meant as an insult. I can’t think of a single instance in which using dude as an insult is going to get someone offended on purpose, where bitch definitely can be used purposefully.
Dude can be used as an insult when used to refer to someone who specifically said they don’t want to be called dude. I don’t know why this is so hard for you. If people don’t want to be called something, don’t call them that. Definitely don’t tell them it’s their fault if they’re offended and they need to get over it.
Yeah that’s not how language works, that’s how pestering works, just because you don’t like to be called Apple and I call you an apple doesn’t mean that apple is now magically an insult word.
I don’t know why this is so hard for you
Nope. That’s exactly how language works. You seem to be confused.
Big stretch there bud.
Cuntycunt
This community only has one rule so far: if you’re gonna troll, it had better be clever and entertaining. Make of that what you will.
I’m just glad I’m not the only one who views dude as androgynous.
I thought I was one of the few.
Dude and cunt applies to all genders.
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And DINGUS.
I find it androgynous and will use it for anyone, but if anyone told me they were uncomfortable with me referring to them that way, I would stop, as with anything. It’s simply decent to refer to people as they prefer.
Contextually gendered
I find these always interesting to read in the following sentence: ‘I fucked a bunch of dudes’.
Do you also believe that this sentence would work for you? (Assuming you are a heterosexual)
Because I always thought I was in the ‘Dude is androgynous’ camp, but after considering that sentence: I don’t think so anymore
Conflation due to context?
I think sexual activity adds implied gender relationships that shift how ‘dude’ is interpreted. While ‘dude’ can feel androgynous in casual contexts, in a phrase like ‘fucked a bunch of dudes,’ the sexual framing amplifies its masculine connotations. This shows how cultural norms around sexuality and gender can override attempts at neutrality.
Most of the women I’ve fucked have been dudes.
A few weren’t.
It’s male-leaning, although it gets used androgynously.
If someone personally didn’t want to be called dude, I’d avoid it. Otherwise it’s not worth freaking out over.
Wow. That is about the tamest comment that’s ever gotten someone banned.
I’ve seen worse for just for putting criticism in threads asking for user’s “questions, concerns, requests and issues”. And at the admin level, in a major instance where they never really apologized or corrected themselves until a couple of months later without really assuming any blame.
They could not in fact get over it, dude.
They must feel very strongly about the word dude. I’m in your camp on it. It’s an exclamation, nothing more 🤷
I was once told my choice of defaulting to referring to people as they/them is offensive to nonbinary people. I don’t necessarily know your pronouns at that particular instance of time when speaking, and being offensive is not my intention, but it seems to happen anyway.
Which is why I call they/them the equal oppurtunity offender. It doesn’t discriminate in its neutralness.
Wait until they hear what non-binary sounds like in Spanish, a language that genders every noun as either male or female.
At least from one Non Binary, I default they/them and have no idea why I personally would find it offensive.
I usually get a lot of hate when I call it “binary thinking” to see only two extreme polar opposite sides to any issue. Some people don’t relate to that term outside of gender issues.
This is the most retarded shit about us on the left. We fight over every little thing while the right can unite over only one issue.
They/them is extremely practical and I’ve yet to meet a non-binary person in real life who complains about the umbrella usage of it. Some people just want to be offended or want to police behaviour. They should stay on twitter.
What the hell? I call everyone they these days as to not offend anyone, I’m trying to be inclusive with this.
Once it’s cheap enough, I will unironically just pay for Gemmini or something to monitor my comments and keep track of all the rules. I can’t possibly deal with all the nuances and expectations of every instance.
If someone is still offended after that, idk what to say.
Just don’t care if you get banned other than to whine about it in whine subs.
Duuuuude
Sweet
“Using the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner, we will now banish you to Hoboken New Jersey.”
Blahaj is essentially the padded room of Lemmy. The users there never ever ever want to see a difference in opinion, a naughty word, or a thought provoking comment. They want to be victims and talk about cute stuff. Completely within their rights to make their instance the most cringe thing on the Internet and yet another example of leftists fighting other leftists and pointing fingers at one another over minor issues while conservatives actually are exterminating minorities at record pace and creating laws and regulations to destroy lives. It might be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
Thought that was Beehaw?
I’ve had nothing but thoughtful and pleasant interactions with users from Beehaw, so what’s the tea with them?
Weren’t they the ones who defederate any instance that allows the word “poop”?
I…have no idea? I don’t really know any Lemmy lore outside of that time everyone was posting beans. But my instance doesn’t ban “poop” and I can clearly see Beehaw, so probably not.
Is there a lemmy version of r/subredditdrama? Because that would be helpful lol
Not literally but aren’t they the ones that basically don’t federate with anyone because they have the moderation policies of Nick Jr and allow basically nothing more scandalous than “If You’re Happy And You Know It” in?
Again, I don’t know. My instance seems to be fine with them, and I wouldn’t say it’s Nick Jr here. I also just see the same news/tech/whatever posts on Beehaw as the ones on .world or whatever, so I don’t even know what the content difference would be.
But now I’m just even more curious about any potential mod/admin drama regarding these defederations, damn it.
I came over fairly early during the Rexodus and a lot of the scuttlebutt was about Beehaw defederating basically anyone who had an open sign-up policy, which includes sh.itjust.works.
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They ban anyone for being a dick.
As is their right to? Like the whole point of Beehaw is to foster a positive environment. I’ve disagreed with many people there (including their admin, I’m pretty sure) without getting banned.
Sure, but this community is full of ban baiters and dicks looking for validation.
Definitely more beehaw. They don’t like when other instances don’t follow their rules…
"It’s completely within their rights, but I’m still going to make a paragraph-long complaint about it, even though it doesn’t affect me.’
Ah yes, echo chambers have never had disatrous consequences for people outside of them. Brilliant.
So a marginalized group that gets continuously shit on both offline and irl makes a lemmy community with strict rules so they can have a space to enjoy lemmy and take a break from being shat on… and you have a problem with it? Why does all online activity have to be productive? Why can’t people make safe space to relax in?
Never said anywhere I had a problem.
Joke’s on them, I’ve shadow banned them.
Lol
The key is that you said “but…” which in some communities fails the test of absolute 100% agreement and makes you The Enemy. I had a very similar experience there, in my case it was saying someone who is “uncomfortable” with gender issues might not actually “hate” anybody, they could just be having trouble overcoming how they were raised. But in the end it’s like if a TV channel stops but you get thousands of other channels, so oh well <shrug>.
Consider the source of the action(a person pursuing a position of authority on a relatively miniscule network) and keep on keeping on. Decades of forums moderated by basement dwellers with a Napoleon complex have made it hard for me to take things like this seriously.
I have also been banned from specifically 196 for a comment on a completely different instance. Reason: Transphobe. Because I was asking questions.
And it’s kind of annoying that when I scroll through the feed, upvote a post and get an error. Oh it’s a blahaj post… Sometimes I realize after I’ve finished writing a comment and can’t send it.
196 is really fuckin weird
They have the best memes but the worst mods
This is why I’ve completely blocked that instance from my feed so i don’t have to be disappointed i can’t participate
I’m tempted to play survivor and go see how long before my neurotypical ass accidentaly gets banned.
You don’t need to go anywhere, apparently, any comment on any instance that federates with blahaj already grants you a participation ticket.
That’s what makes Lemmy lame honestly
How is that a lemmy problem? Reddit and such have the exact same issues
