For me it’s driving while under the influence. If you couldn’t tell, I like me some ganja. However I have long since held the belief that it is utterly insane to drive while under the influence of most substances, with maybe nicotine and caffeine being the exception. All too often I see other stoners smoking and driving, which I simply can’t fathom. I’ve only operated a vehicle once under the influence and it was just to move a U-Haul around the block to a different parking spot, which was such a scary experience while high that I refuse to even consider getting behind the wheel again while high.
One of my hobbies is the social deduction game Blood on the Clocktower. Heavy social deduction games will draw certain types of people. Many of the people are very nice and inclusive. Others not so much.
I just played a game with a new group the other night - games usually take about 90 minutes in my experience. These people are all about playing super optimally rather than having fun. I made a sub-optimal play as an evil character, solely to create chaos. This led to mass confusion toward the end of the game. When my play was revealed at the end, people were literally yelling at me.
No one cared that it worked, and evil won, and that I completely followed the rules. I just did something no one would expect because I knew it would cause confusion. Some people take all the fun out of the game.
Well that sucks. My favourite moment in a hidden role game was when a player won by misreading their card and convincing both of us that we were allies at the start. They ended up the only evil player for most of the game and then in the last round after we’d worked together to systematically kill everyone else (all weirdly innocents, we were both feeling guilty by this point), when they finally realised they knew there was no evil player they checked and… killed me. Total madness and a glorious victory for them. How can you be mad at that?!
My nerd herd play this game too, the usual suspects are getting to the point where I worry that will be the problem. Right now the main irritation are meme accusations. 2 players dont trust eachother even if prove they are on the same team.
Lieing about being someones grandmother and randomly guessing a role (and getting it right) has ended multiple games. Its gotten to the point we have to just treat some people as agents of chaos even if they arnt on the evil team. Its still very fun and most people get a laugh out of a good play.
I turned the spent fisherman in between the vigor and assassin into the empath in my game. Not a single person believed the spent fish would suddenly get a 2 empath reading. They got read as a minion panicking in final three when the raven keeper was on the block lol.
I was pretty proud of the psych out play.
My recent claim to fame from this past weeks game, winning our groups first psychopath script. I got to play Patrick Bateman and didnt do anything for 3 turns (Our GM kept calling me crazy) because my demon (the Al-hadihkia) handed me the flower girl as a bluff. Convinced the town fool, who had validated their role worked in front of everyone, that I was above board and proceded to axe the philosopher on the last day to win the game for the evil team. The fool still owes me a beer or sandwich.
I’ve never gotten psycho yet, which makes me sad. It looks like so much fun to play.
I think playing as a minion is the most fun, demons are too stressful and outsiders usually mean your paranoid or intentionally throw yourself under the bus for the good team.
Some of the most fun I’ve had has been playing the Baron. Just getting to sew as much discord as possible early game, and if I die? Oh well. I once managed to get into 3 double claims on day one and somehow didn’t get executed till day 3 lol.
This is really dumb imo (the other people). My friend and I both like to be agents of chaos sometimes, so when we play Secret Hitler it’s a nightmare because even if we’re not on the same team we just cause so much mayhem and have everyone doubting everything. Isn’t the fun in the chaos and confusion???
In most social deduction games, the point of the minority team is to create confusion, since they have all the information. The majority team is trying to deduce roles, so they benefit from players who telegraph their strategy.
Jesus, what a bunch of freaks those people sound.
I mean, set aside that you outsmarted them with an unexpected move, but, oh no, you mean the evil side didn’t do things by the book?? Who’da thunk it?
Even my own team was pissed at me because my move was super risky. But because I could see the way people were expecting optimal play, I figured it would work in our favor.
One person said, “WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING STUPID? YOU THREW YOUR OWN TEAM UNDER THE BUS”
Yeah, but it worked cuz nobody expected anybody would do such a crazy move.
Exactly - really glad it worked out, especially if that’s how the others are going to react! :-)
I’ve got quite the game collection, and that kind of competitive behavior annoys the hell out of me.
If I’m learning a game, I stumble along, take my turns, and figure out how everything works as we go through the process. I don’t expect to win, and if I do, it’s probably because I got some lucky rolls/draws.
I have a few friends/family that get angry when they aren’t winning, and nothing pisses me off during a game more than that.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with getting frustrated with a bad draw, or when someone has the perfect counter in their hand, but, if your enjoyment of the game is solely determined by how much you’re winning, you’re ruining it for everyone else and you aren’t getting invited to the next game night.
Yeah. Even my own team was pissed at me. I took a risky move that worked out in the end because I used their weakness against them. That’s part of the reason that BotC is so much better than many social deduction games - it’s often not entirely solvable, even with optimal play. And just let people have fun sometimes, who cares about making the “objectively best decision” at all times.
Chaos moves are so much fun.
When a friend and I play Coup (hidden role card game), we’ll typically start out playing normally - especially if there are new players - but as things progress, we get into “advanced” strategies. We might not look at our cards at all, and publicly proclaim it, such that nobody can possibly know if we’re BSing or not - since we don’t know ourselves.
My old group loved to do a few blind rounds of coup after we were ready to move onto another game. Made for chaos and great fun for everyone. That was usually our warm up game - still waiting for people to show up, maybe snacks were still being prepared, Hosts walking the dog, etc.
But of course, first round, EVERYONE is a Duke.
This is why I get anxious playing with new groups, especially because if I draw a token that let’s me try something out of left field, I can rarely resist going for it. Thankfully, so far everyone has been really excellent, but it takes me a while to slip in and get comfortable
Another hobby, though I haven’t been in a few years is SCUBA diving. I learned how to dive under people who took all of the safety limits and procedures quite seriously. I was always diving in a pair with a person I knew, and we always had a comfort level of communication and teamwork based on familiarity with each other.
I left that constant diving life, and later to scratch the diving itch I decided to go do a recreational dive in the US. I showed up to the place and got on the boat. On the ride out to the dive site, I was expecting a pre-dive meeting where details would be gone over, and I’d be assigned my partner so we could interact at least a little bit before getting in the water. That never happened. I was waiting and waiting for the meeting to start when the boat just stopped, the people running it announced we were at the dive spot and just started pointing to pairs of people to be “partners” basically as they were jumping off the boat. I’m used to doing an equipment shakedown with a partner, but my assigned partner was some guy who just hopped in the depths and was gone before I could do any of that.
This was a simple dive to a flat sand bottom. People were mostly looking for trinkets down there. That said, the lack of organization was shocking. When time was up, people just started shooting to the surface. Nobody else was doing safety stops on the way up, and because of me doing it I was the last person out of the water. It was very scary sloppy and I did not go back to any open-to-the-public recreational dives after that.
Thats terrifying, especially given that the ocean is potentially more dangerous than space. the power of water is not to be underestimated
It was really scary. I’d shadowed some recreational groups before to help out with the shop I’d been close with and a reoccurring theme would be that customers who dived for maybe one week a year were so caviler about safety because they were “very experienced”, while the people who dived so much they were having to calculate their weekly limits were abundantly respectful of the depths.
As one person working there would say, “You never get a brain aneurysm until you do.”
Can you explain what the weekly limit is about? I know very little about scuba.
There’s a lot of biology involved that I don’t understand the intricacies of, but basically the more time and at more depth you are underwater the more your body is dealing with changes in the density and makeup of your blood. You need time on the surface to normalize. For a similar reason you need to do safety stops to allow your body to adjust to the changes.
For normal recreation dives, it’s pretty simple that people are limited to (IIRC) two dives/two hours per day as a general guideline. Once you get into deeper dives, using different breathing mixes, and other stuff people have to start doing a little bit of double checking to make sure they don’t overdo it.
I’m not sure about the weekly limit, but I guess it has also to do with the absorbtion of nitrogen into your blood, which is why you make safety stops after going deep and why there are daily limits.
Depending on how deep and how long you dive, more nitrogen will get dissolved in your blood due to the increased pressure. It stays there until you get into lower pressure ( ascending to the surface). If you do that too fast, the nitrogen will build up bubbles. And bubbles in the bloodstream is really really bad, hindering the flow of blood. Doing safety stops in lower depths gives some nitrogen the time to leave your body through the lungs while breathing. Not diving for a certain time after your dive sessions will give time to release all additional nitrogen from the blood, preventing a builtup over each dive.
How deep was the dive? Thinking that these guys do these dives regularly without ever doing safety stops is giving me decompression sickness by proxy
I honestly don’t remember. It wasn’t notably deep, but I had 100% of the time always done a safety stop and a controlled ascent in all my dives. The part that made this especially bad was people would go absolutely flying from the bottom to the top, with no attempt to control their speed.
My ears are very sensitive, that shit would burst my ears. In a normal swimming pool, I would still need to equalize.
Was this ran by a PADI Dive center? I feel like if it was an official dive center they would be more rigorous and Divemasters would be helping you out.
No, I was used to PADI and certified by them (outside the U.S.). The place where I had the bad experience was affiliated with some U.S. organization I wasn’t familiar with.
PADI is international, I feel like most reputable dive shops need to be PADI certified.
I know. Like I said the shop had a US only organization I wasn’t familiar with and it was my first experience with recreational U.S. diving, which is why I specified.
I showed up in the U.S. expecting PADI, but being unfamiliar with how U.S. shops operated, and presumed that whatever non-PADI organization they were with would be similarly standardized. Clearly they weren’t. Which is why I didn’t go back.
Interesting, I live in the US and I didn’t know there are different scuba organizations other than PADI and SSI, and NAUI. I would be sussed out at that dive center. I’m sorry you had to experience that.
With airsoft, it has to be the fascination with using lasers. There’s no such thing as a totally eyesafe laser, just “less harmful ones” and I know that many of the ultra cheap lasers on places like aliexpress are totally lying about their ratings, using lower rating stickers on more powerful lasers. Which is a problem as it’s easier to make a brute force amped up laser when you want something bright to appeal to airsofters. The teens buying these lasers have no idea what laser ratings are in the first place anyway, they just buy whatever appeals to their Call Of Duty addled brains.
In addition to being inherently unsafe, which is full stop reason enough, lasers tend to be pretty useless especially in outdoor games. It is very annoying to be in the woods and randomly get swept by a lasers from somebody far away who doesn’t even know where I am. I have literally heard people explain that they find where the laser is pointed by looking for it with their magnified scope. Which is completely insane logic.
When the topic comes up, laser users claim that they never aim at peoples’ eyes. In a game, that’s a completely impossible promise to keep. Also some people do intentionally aim lasers at faces for an advantage, and since it’s impossible to avoid this whole mess, lasers should be banned entirely.
(And before anyone mentions the laserbox on my airsoft gun, it’s fake. It’s a hollow box where I keep the gun’s battery for easy access.)
This is a really interesting one i think for the reasons you pointed out above. There is very little safety oversight for this and these people genuinely have no clue how to actually use laser aiming systems. Not to mention that if you have a laser, it should be set up such that you don’t need to look for it (especially not with a scope that’s mounted parallel to the laser) because it’s to help your fine aim. Oh well, i was young and thought tacticool stuff was cool once too.
A lot of the tacticool is just dumb and awkward; that’s sort of just good fun LARPing nonsense. Some poor choices like not wearing mouth protection are flatly stupid, but at least it only punishes the person making the choice. My problem with lasers is that the person making the dumb choice isn’t affected, only people otherwise doing everything right.
I’ve actually asked a few fields about implementing no laser policies, but unfortunately owners seem apathetic about having to enforce it.
There are these amazing laser based aiming systems out there called “red” “dots”. They have the advantage of being better AND not flashing people in the eye.
exactly!
D&D and RPGs in general. There’s a lot of loud opinions on what other people are doing.
Yeah, go ahead Simon - teach me the right way to pretend I’m an elf.
DnD is definitely one of those hobbies where each table is different and (as long as no one is being hurt) none of them are wrong. The toxicity some people bring to the table can scare away newer people entirely and that sucks for everyone. Less DnD people means we all get to play less DnD.
Queer TTRPG circles on the west coast got this fixed. I can never go back to playing in Completely straight TTRPG culture. Queer TTRPG tables will be like “Can I be a Merperson Paladin of like… Everything spiritual simultaneously and just have to fluidly sync with the nearest divinity while my hyper intelligent mouse sidekick who dresses in a Sherlock Holmes outfit causes random trouble? Oh and can the mermish language be a sign language? " and 9/10 times the answer is " FUCK YEAH! That’s rad! Do you want your mouse to have a tiny magnifying glass?”
Compare that with the grognards telling me sign languages are prohibited because they are " too much of an advantage" and I am just ruined.
I recommend trying to find chill roleplay heavy groups. The tables i ran were never explicitly queer but we were open to anyone who wanted to come and have fun. It was helped by the fact that the regulars at the table would roleplay in character super heavily, but never take themselves too seriously, so it always just ends in stupid shenanigans where everyone’s laughing.
We once had a young kid (<10) at the table with their guardian and when they got the final hit on a difficult encounter the entire table erupted in cheers.
The “macho” attitude to safety. From soldering to woodworking. In soldering, there are fumes created when burning a substance called flux. There are commercial fumes extractors to purify and remove these fumes, but many refuse to use them, even if they’re cheap. Saying stuff like "What’s a little tree sap gonna do to me?. Chances are, none of them could run a mile due to the irritation of their lungs.
Another one is woodworking, especially around power tools. Table saws can shred your fingers before you can blink. It can pull extremities towards itself, and can launch wood fast enough to perforate organs. Yet there are still people who insist “I don’t need no push stick”, “don’t bother with a crosscut sled, just free hand it”.
For woodworking: Add the “old machines were soooo much safer,you need to use this 1968 Asshole-Wankerville saw if you realllllyyy want to have safety”(not true, especially when using planers) and the “if you don’t do it this way you should not be let close to a pencil!”(does it in an antiquated, overly complicated way that is safe but if you do one little thing wrong it isn’t anymore)-Gatekeepers.
Especially the whole story around saw-stop and how it was perceived by amateurs (even when they were unaffected by the manufacturers propaganda) is a shame.
Old machines can be good. Old machines can be a deathtrap. And things decay over time and something rotating with 30.000 RPM for 50 years close to someones groin/stomach maybe isn’t a risk someones should take lightly.
And most people who talk like this are old idiots who learned/teached themselves how to do things somewhere in the 70ies/80ies and then never developed after that. But they are so fucking sure about themselves.
I have an emergency medicine background, including some accident research. And even then people try to argue with me. “No,that kind of injury can never happen with this brand”. Idiot, I have seen it myself,talked to the person who nearly killed themselves, etc.
I was watching a woodworking video the other day. It was a dude in some third world country, using a tablesaw that looked like it was from the 60’s. No blade guards, no kickback fin, etc… Not even PPE like safety glasses or a push stick. And the dude was making cuts with only an inch or so between the fence and the blade, using his thumb to push the material through. I ran to the comments to see how many others had mentioned the fact that this dude needed to make himself a push stick.
The top comment was a dude complaining about “all these comments mentioning the lack of a push stick need to grow up. This dude obviously doesn’t need a push stick cuz he’s been doing this for years and knows how to stay safe without it.”
The dude in the video was missing two fingertips, clearly from previous accidents. He very obviously did need a push stick
I feel this way about angle grinders and seeing people using them without a guard or any safety equipment with their face inches away from a cutoff wheel they bought from harbor freight as they plunge it into a piece of steel.
Oh god,angle grinders,yeah… I have one, but I don’t use it in my workshop for obvious reasons.
The wife recently thought I had a stroke as I was screaming at the TV, because a show had invited an “expert” who was cutting some metal in front of the audience.
… Without ANY safety equipment on himself or the machine. … Heavily BENDING the disk.
… Someone is going to do this like on TV…and die…I was impressed that none of the audience died because that’s where the blade would have landed.
And I saw first hand was an angle grinder disk does to someones skull. It has the habit of stopping in a place that will not kill you. But leave you blind,deaf and dumb, suffering for a long time. They scare me. When I use mine, I am wearing full PPE, have a guard on the machine and still keep a tourniquet around.
It especially makes my blood boil when bosses do this. They frequently do because they don’t suffer the consequences but reap the gains.
If workers take a dangerous shortcut: increased productivity.
If workers get injured, they blame the worker for disregarding safety precautions. OSHA usually only steps in if safety equipment/practice is outright missing, not if workers are told to not use them.
Honestly you sound like you’ve three years in the industry and everyone but you is incompetent, especially the ones been at it forever.
Motorcycle riders not wearing a helmet be like
In photography, its overemphasis on the importance of gear. While it’s true that some shots require specific equipment, the average photographer will not improve with better equipment, and an experienced photographer can take brilliant shots with a phone.
You can’t buy skill. It comes with practice.
One of my exes did photography, first as a hobby, then did some weddings and stuff. He went to a class to learn more, and a lot of the more experienced people gave him shit because his camera was “basic”. It was a Canon or Nikon DSLR. Sure nothing amazing or super expensive, but he knew how to use it and no one ever complained about his photos they paid for.
People in any hobby that requires equipment draws these people. There were a couple cool people I met that he made friends with though. They had nicer gear, but weren’t assholes about it. Let him try them out and taught him about the benefits and use cases and stuff too.
People who gatekeep like that just scream insecurity to me.
Imagine being an asshole to someone who either chooses not or can’t afford to, buy very expensive equipment. Utterly pathetic.
this is the vibe im getting too. i just started with photography and am taking a digital still photography class and got a D300 for cheap. My lens is meh and i can’t do everything i want with it, but I’ve been able to take better photos than i ever have been before with a camera a decade plus old.
Good for you! The class will help more than a better lens. Learn to stay within the limits of your lens for now, rather than trying to fight it into situations it can’t capture. Think about the light before looking for a composition. Digital photography has the advantage of being able to take unlimited pictures at no cost, so think, shoot, review, and learn. Most importantly, enjoy it!
Oh, and always keep your camera with you. lol
Thank you, i appreciate the advice! i do think about light a lot, and the first settings i change when getting a good photo are the white balance and exposure. i definitely need more practice overall but im enjoying it enough that i brought my camera case with me today instead of my backpack
Nice! While you’re walking with your bag, make note of good shots with undesirable sun position and try to return when the sun is where you want it. There are some really useful apps that will let you track the sun’s path using AR. They’ll also tell you when to find both golden hours every day.
oh perfect! thank you!
I have a pile of hobbies and I guess one common thread is obnoxious dude shit. And I say this as a male type person.
3D printing is a weird one because 3D printers are hella good for all kinds of stuff, from the more “femme” coded hobbies to the “dude” hobbies. But somehow the not-male people I know engage with some of the same communities as I do and for some reason I always get a lot more useful answers to my questions. There’s a certain aesthetic to homebrew open source 3D printers and it’s kinda industrial.
Electronics hackery is worse because it’s a lot more “masc” coded. Even software stuff isn’t quite as bad because at least there there’s been concerted social pressure.
Photography is sad because if I work with a female model I have to go through a whole process for her to make sure that she’s going to be safe during our shoot, some of which I didn’t even fully realize that was part of the process for a while. And pretty much all of the semi-pro-to-pro experienced models have at least one story and sometimes Names Are Named and it’s someone I’ve met, so I have to be constantly on guard.
oh shit yeah i feel you with realizing things you do as habit really are learned because of shitty things that have happened to people.
I knew a few women that played airsoft at a local field I used to play at, who made a habit of wolf-packing around the field in 2s and 3s. I asked them at one point how they learned to coordinate so well, and it turned out that they had to institute an actual buddy system because some players (long since banned from the local community) decided to get handsy with one of them at one point…and got a broken arm for his trouble.
jesus its terrible they had to go to that extent for their safety
You know, we have a word for “male-type person”: its man. It doesn’t matter if you are not a biological man, or in some kind of transitional stage, or whatever else might be the cause for this awkward phrasing. It is simply how this is called and it isnt discriminatory, you can use it. Also, a “female model” might well be referred to as a woman. That’s not discriminatory either.
I don’t know what your goal is in being this persnickety about someone else’s wording, but you should probably be sure that you’re right before you go around correcting people. For example, if we replaced “female model” with “woman”, it would make OP’s comment way less clear, because a photographer works with people other than just models and that wouldn’t be clear with just “woman”.
Regarding “male-type person”, I would ask you to take a moment to try to imagine a world where “male-type person” is a more appropriate and correct phrasing than “man”. Arguing in good faith means temporarily setting aside your belief that “man” is more correct in order to better understand OP’s point and their overall point. As an example, OP may not actually be a man at all, but may be perceived as male by people within the hobby, in which case, “male-type person” may not be elegant phrasing, but it’s more correct and informative than “man”.
You claim your corrections aren’t discriminatory, but that’s besides the point, because a comment can be “not discriminatory” and also impolite and unconstructive to the discussion.
I also found the wording a bit needlessly convoluted (kinda like gender, amirite). But yours is a really interesting perspective. I’m not sure if I’d write the same way but I also wasn’t bothered enough to correct their diction lol
I’m not entirely sure why everyone assumes I have some nefarious bigoted purpose here.
My point is, it doesn’t matter for a quick anecdote if the person in question is whatever makes simply “man“ imprecise, and requires the “male type person” (what could that even possibly mean if not man?) specification, be it they are trans or identify as something else.
Is the next step to introduce the reader to the preferred pronouns of all parties involved? I dont know these people and it has no bearing on the anecdote. That is entirely too convoluted and unnecessarily complicated if there is no actual reason.
I would also argue that if they are for example trans they could just reasonably be called man or woman depending on what they now identify as. Doesn’t require a specific qualifier. Why all this convoluted doublespeak when there are already normal words for that?
Call women, women. Men, men. Trans women and men too of course, because why not and unless the fact they are trans is somehow relevant, it is fully sufficient. For everyone who identifies as neither, keep it with neutral pronouns (again unless more information is relevant).
They probably likely meant they come off as a typical man. I felt your comment was unnecessary, like stop looking for it and you’ll find it less. You know? You took what was likely poor phrasing into something else entirely.
I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding of some inclusivity in regards to non-binary identities here.
There are a lot of grey areas that use different words very specifically. Masc and Femme for instance describe a wider range of binary and non-binary identities than “Man and Woman” as many non-binary people are closer to binary trans folks but use a different set of mental mechanisms where they don’t strictly align with the categories of “man and woman”. Masc and Femme can be used with “presenting” to specify what people tend to read someone as based on cultural dress and behaviour or but left as is to describe gender identity.
On the other pole of talking about sex rather than gender or gender presentation some have started to move away from “assigned gender at birth” and use descriptives like " male/female phenotypic (or type for short) when needing to refer to one’s physicality to describe aspects when talking strictly about lived experience regarding their body’s sexual characteristics.
The trans community particularly has a lot of very specific language regarding how different aspects of our experience impacts us. For instance a male phenotypic person will have certain aspects assumed about them because of their body independent of their gender which given certain circumstances they need to talk about in a neutral way. Talking about sex can be a bit of a landmine situation in trans circles because it’s both a touchy subject and it’s where the most dogwhistles tend to be. As such it’s a bit chaotic… As such Phenotype does not strictly mean “birth sex”. It’s more about what physical sex characteristics people perceive and react to… Trans language wise it’s something not universally adopted or liked but it is consistent with the usage in the above post where the poster is describing people perceived as at least potentially possessing some sexually male characteristics. This covers cis/ trans men/ masc non-binary people, some trans women / femme non-binary and various flavors of non-binary people.
While I can understand feeling like this is a bit much but it’s mostly that language and conventions inside the community and inclusivity forward movements changing rather rapidly to account for the way discourse changes from year to year with new dogwhistles popping up with the evolving discourse as more people become knowledgeable about the basics. Less awkward conventions of language are always being tested because universality is likely a ways away. Trying to be pedantic about it might prove to be a losing battle. Give it another decade or two and it might settle into a singular convention once there’s more concensus.
I have guns. I’m also super liberal. The amount of range patrons, employees or gun shops that talk unprompted about politics to me is disgusting. They just can’t understand there are liberal or left leaning gun owners.
Yup. Super off-putting. More than half of my local shops all have massive trump banners and associated ephemera along with some form of lib-bashing. Can’t be in that space for more than 5 minutes without hearing some fake news, racism, or mockery of some group. It’s really killing the sport for me. It never mattered when I first got into it, but the identity politics are destroying just enjoying a good day a the range.
It’s like they believe gun ownership is some kind of underground club that is impossible to be a part of unless your republican.
Gatekeeping and acting like you’re smarter than everyone else… General neckbeard behavior. Linux/Computers in general can be a great hobby if you can get past the “RTFM, yoUr stUPiD fOR asKing” people.
I work with Linux and computers professionally. Documentation is written but almost nobody reads it. I can’t count the number of times I’ve bailed out colleagues stuck on a problem by spending a few hours reading the docs and then like magic some parameter in the API solves everything. I’ve been bailed out countless times in the same way. Software and computers are complex and even those who do RTFM miss things, because documentation is information dense, often written as an afterthought to the code, and APIs are not always even internally consistent with the documentation.
But the toxicity culture around that needs to go. I love it when people geek out over distro-hopping and whatnot, but superiority complexes over what distro you use (“Arch, btw I’m so much better than you”) is fucking stupid.
Imo, a lot of linux documentation and documentation in general is written in a way that assumes you know what it’s talking about… When it’s the documentation’s job to teach you about said things…
This has been my struggle. I read the documentation before posting to linux groups. And even saying that you just get “wHaT r U sToOpId!? rTfM aGaIn!” Like just rereading it will magically reveal terms that I didn’t understand the first 3 times. I gave up on trying to switch to linux.
I think my last straw was I was talking about establishing an SFTP server in OpenBSD (I know, unix not linux, don’t bother; same kinds of people in both) and I had a typo in my question and it was a very benign unimportant typo and some pedantic fuckwad had a mental fucking breakdown because he was now confused if I really wanted SFTP or FTP and how FTP was insecure blah blah…the whole thread was about setting up SFTP wtf would you think that changed in the middle because I forgot the S on SFTP in the middle of a discussion on setting up SFTP. Too many pedantics in the community and even when I like software I don’t want to be associated/involved with that level of unempathetic autistic assholery.
Yeah, those are the exact kind of people I’m referring to. They are annoying, however not “I hate this hobby now, fck it all” annoying, to me anyways. And Idk if it’s just me, but I’ve encountered less of them here on lemmy than on smth like reddit, even when I’ve asked stupid questions.
Thinking new people are stupid for asking the same questions they asked 3 years ago. My hobby is every hobby.
well put. “New people don’t know enough” shouldn’t be a surprise, and yet here we are. Online forums should have a FAQ, at least (many do but not all).
I like to play Magic the Gathering. I also won’t play with randos at local game shops because more often than not they’re socially awkward, outright rude and act like 30 year old children if a game doesn’t go how they want, or they fucking reek. You can find actual normal people who play the game, but the amount of fucking weirdos way outnumbers then, to the point where going to events is not an option for me anymore.
Yeah I used to play Magic and D&D. Lots of overlap there but the D&D groups are hit or miss if you get some weird people but generally everyone is chill and just wants to not die and have fun.
Magic gets crazy competitive and I can’t stand walking by some people. While a lot of D&D players I’ve met are heavily overweight in a lot of the same ways Magic players are, it seems they’re much more socially and self aware. The people at my table also were well groomed so while after 4 hours of sitting and playing while eating chips and soda there may be a bit of funk, it never really reeked.
Yeah DnD isn’t really competitive, everyone there is there to cultivate the most fun situation they can.
Although I feel like if you get into groups where they’re trying to lean to hard into the role playing aspect of the game you can meet some real fucking weirdos.
Agreed, but it depends on how they roleplay. As a DM i was very roleplay heavy and did voices for characters and tried to set the scene, but it was always lighthearted and fun. Like kobolds for instance, they always have a nasally voice and heavy lisp. I’m lucky that my groups were usually really into roleplay as well, and it was great. Some weird stuff happens ofc but it’s all in the context of the game. Like when we were playing Tomb of Annihilation (i didn’t DM), one of the players ended up in a relationship with one of those cat people because he was one of the turtle people and it was really really funny.
There are two reasons why I refuse to play MTG now: Wizards of the Coast is shitty and the experience of playing at my local game store.
For a second I was like damn this dude is talking about not smoking and driving because it made him too careful of a driver and you’re driving around playing turn-based strategic card games with your friends. But then I remembered this thread wasn’t about negligent driving.
Yeah no, I don’t fault you though because this post was worded weird. Most people don’t consider smoking weed as a hobby. As fun as getting fucked up is, I’d argue that you can’t label that as your hobby.
when you spend as much time getting stoned as I do and with as much care (I consider rolling joints and artform) as I do then yeah it is a hobby
For the more “masculine” ones, say video games and roleplaying games, really wish guys were less fucking rude to me or even just ignoring me. Or also lovely is me suggesting an idea, ignoring me, then agreeing when someone else takes it and suggests it.
Some people online are oddly hostile about American recipes using cups/tablespoons? I do a lot of baking, so much I do have a scale, but that’s extremely uncommon here. Most cup recipes are fine. Even weighed recipes need tweaking sometimes.
Knitting is a solo hobby because oh man old ladies can be really weird about what yarn you use or needles you use or even why you’re knitting so young. I was 30 when they were saying this. Sure, younger than them but???
I am just, constantly in awe of how toxic the fiber arts community can be
Like friends
We are making lovely comfort items, random decor, stuffies and just like, silly shit WHY ARE YOU SCREECHING AT ONE ANOTHER
Hence me going to exactly 1 stitch n bitch ever and then quietly doing crochet in my house forever more
Yeah and the elitism. Like I am knitting for a friend’s baby no freaking way am I going to make it with a silk merino blend when I know my friend can only machine wash and tumble dry clothes… And that was before they had a tiny human. Some of the local groups were up in arms that I used ACRYLICS quell horror but dude I make kids toys and they literally drag my toys through a mud bath and three years later it’s still in one piece and loved. I do have the budget now for the nicer stuff but when I started out, not so much. And you know what a silk is nice but sometimes… I want a shitty fluffy machine washable plush yarn. Fiber people gotta chill and remember at the end of the day we are playing with sticks and string. Be nice.
For the first point, does it help if the person repeating it acknowledges that they were just repeating what you said? I find that in conversations in general sometimes people don’t get heard so I try to repeat what they said so it can be heard but I always try to start along the lines of “Going back to what you said…”.
For the other two I completely understand and I think it’s just a weird form of gatekeeping.
It’s not as bad when it’s started with like, “I agree with x” or “What if we did what x said but with <insert thing here>” or something, sure. They usually don’t though, almost never. And then everyone at the table acts as if the person who said it came up with it and it’s infuriating.
Edit - I might not be clear. The person suggesting the idea I had is generally not boosting it so it’s heard, they are generally acting as if they came up with it, and then everyone suddenly realizes it’s a good idea coming from a guy instead. When it’s someone realizing the idea wasn’t heard, they usually don’t do that.
I can only imagine how frustrating that must be. I’m sorry that a lot of men are probably subconsciously really shitty and just don’t have the care and self awareness to do anything about that.
Oh, I got one! The hobby is browsing advice subs. The fucked up practice is just how common and easy it is for some people to tell a complete fucking stranger to end a relationship. People are disgusting. I remember way back when Reddit told me to leave my now-wife of ten years because she had the unforgivable condition of… depression 💀 and I still see this shit every single day. OP reported some choice words? Break up. OP isn’t sure? Break up. OP loves them but their partner blah blah blah? Break up. Every valley too low, every mountain too high, no relationship can work out to a Redditor. The fucking gall of these people to constantly be telling complete strangers to make a major life altering decision, and how flippantly they do it… it just pisses me off. They don’t know a damn thing about “red flags”.
The thing I got tired of seeing was people acting like someone going to an advice sub meant they had to take what advice was given like it was some choose your own adventure story for the people replying. Some would even get enraged that OP would push back against things said or would treat it as a chance to play Sherlock and figure out that OP is the sinister bad guy in the story and half of it is lies. And sure, maybe that’s sometimes the case, but if you stop going from OP’s account, you’re just making up a fan fiction.
My advice for anyone reading this: don’t blindly follow advice. Just treat it as a chance to gain new perspectives you might otherwise have missed and then use your own brain and first-hand knowledge of your situation plus the other perspectives to decide what you want to do. Even wrong decisions aren’t always wrong if you needed to live through the experience of making that wrong decision to learn why it’s wrong and know to avoid it in the future.
I feel that. I had posted about my relationship a few months ago and while the correct thing to do was break it off, we weren’t completely at that point yet which is why I had posted to ask.
Luckily i did get a lot of great advice, some of it being breakup but with a lot more nuance
The bikepacking community sometimes feels more like a gear flaunting contest than a fun outdoor sport. Particularly amusing are 90kg men obsessing over a 10kg bike to save weight.
Probably the cheapest and easiest way for most people to get into bike camping is by getting a trailer instead of obsessing over squeezing everything you need on the bicycle itself. I imagine some folks would consider that “cheating” but fuck 'em.
i really want to get into backpacking but I don’t have a car to travel and the gear is so expensive. it seems interesting. thank you for your perspective
There’s a town a few hours from here and I’m certain that some people drive there with all their gear, then ride around town all kitted up, and drive all the way back to the city.
So I’m super involved in my local bdsm community and it’s probably my main hobby. There’s a lot less misogyny than people not in the community think and a lot more than many of the men of the community think.
I find this one especially egregious because as a fellow practitioner, my first priority is safety, safety, safety. i hate to see the bigotry and lack or respect
